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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24219598">Nobody But You (Post-Villa Breakup)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sp3194/pseuds/sp3194'>sp3194</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Love Island (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anger, Anger Management, Angst and Feels, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship/Love, Heartbreak, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Light BDSM, Recreational Drug Use, Romance, Self-Discovery, Slow Burn, Smut</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 17:21:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>25,020</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24219598</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sp3194/pseuds/sp3194</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Life may have been perfect while in the villa, but the real test of a relationship is if it survives out in the real world. This is a story where Bobby and Anna’s relationship is tested to the ultimate limit. Will they make it?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bobby McKenzie/Main Character (Love Island), Kassam/Main Character (Love Island)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>85</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>62</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Hearts are made to broken</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi all! Thanks for coming and checking this story out. I haven't written a ff since I was in middle school which was ages ago lmao. </p><p>This fanfic can get pretty dark as it's navigating through some tough emotions but I promise it'll be worth it. </p><p>Huge shoutouts to Kat, Shauna, and Becky for giving me the motivation and push to publish this and just sticking through this journey with me. I complain a lot so ya'll are the real ones for sticking by my side. </p><p>Any comments/feedback &amp; kudos would be appreciated :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Anna’s POV </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>I sat on the porch swing with my guitar softly pulling the strings struggling to come up with a beat I was happy with. Glancing at my phone, I saw the time was 3:34 AM. I groaned at another sleepless night. I pulled out my song notebook flicking the pages until I landed on my most recent song I had been writing. I continued to softly sing searching for a melody. I was so lost in the sound I didn’t hear Bobby come outside. I looked up and saw the beautiful face of the boy I’d fallen so deeply in love with. I watched as he put a mug of hot chocolate down on the table full to the brim with marshmallows before sitting down next to me. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He pulled me back against his chest and his arms came around my waist, his lips softly brushing against my neck. I felt a rush of calmness go through me as I smiled up at him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I keep waking you up, I’m sorry babe,” I whispered, making a move to put the guitar down. He stopped my hand. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Well I thought I’d come out here and give you some singing tips,” said Bobby with his signature smirk. I glared at him pouting my lips and punched him in the arm. He yelped and laughed pulling me in closer.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You know there’s nothing I love more in the world then listening to you sing,” he said with a small smile. I smiled right back, he always knew the right thing to say.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> I sighed and absentmindedly ran my fingers along his arm drawing random shapes with my guitar sitting at my feet. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“What’s on your mind?,” Bobby asked, pulling me up slightly to look at me. I linked my fingers through his hand and started nervously playing with them. I frowned slightly while Bobby patiently waited for me to talk. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I just… I feel like everything’s moving so fast since the moment we walked out of the villa. I used to sing in small coffee shops and now I’m singing in stadiums with thousands of people all in a span of a few months. I just feel like I can’t catch a breath. This is everything and more than what I could’ve dreamed of and I’m just so grateful, but man I just want life to slow down, even if it’s for a second. There’s so many doubts, so much uncertainty, and sometimes the emotions just take over”I sighed. I kept my eyes focused on our intertwined fingers, avoiding his gaze. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I felt Bobby’s fingers under my chin pushing my face up to look at him, “It’s okay to be overwhelmed. You have had a lot thrown at you and I understand. But, I have no doubt that if anyone can handle it, it’s you. You constantly amaze me with everything you do, so don’t start doubting yourself. You were born to do this,”</em>
</p><p>
  <em> I closed my eyes and snuggled further into his arms, wrapping my hands around his neck letting out a soft moan at the warmth, love, and comfort I felt in that moment. How he always comes up with the right words at the right time I will never understand. I smiled into his embrace and stayed in his arms until we saw the sun come up. </em>
</p><p>Anna jolted awake and was welcomed with sheer pain. Every inch of her body felt like it was hit with a hammer. She couldn’t pick her head up and it felt like she had a 50 lb metal bar sitting on her head. Sadly, this feeling was nothing new and quite frankly she didn’t mind the pain, it was the only reminder that she was truly alive.</p><p>Her days these past 2 weeks have gone pretty much the same. She was in a new city every week with a smile plastered on her face constantly, never letting the facade that she was fine slip. She did whatever public appearance she was told to do that day, performed a concert if it was scheduled and returned to her hotel room to drink until she passed out. She was miserable in ways that she never knew was possible.</p><p>Fresh new tears came out of her eyes as her mind wandered back to the dream or nightmare might be a better word of her beautiful brown eyed, freckle faced baker, something that’s become a pretty regular occurrence and an unwelcome visitor every night.</p><p>Well, he wasn’t hers anymore.</p><p>Her heart started speeding up and she felt the familiar pit in her stomach and it was only a matter of seconds until she completely broke down and screamed into her pillow until she couldn’t anymore.</p><p>She lost the love of her life, her other half, her everything and it was all her fault. She couldn’t feel anything, her body got pretty used to feeling numb everywhere. The pain she woke up with and the pain she inflicted on herself was the only reminder that she was alive, that she was still there dealing with this mess.</p><p>“Good morning Anna,” the loud, annoying voice Anna was used to hearing every morning floating in from the lobby followed by the loud bang of the front door.</p><p>“Hello, Anna?” the knocking on the bedroom door getting louder and louder and it became inevitable to ignore. Anna threw a pillow over her head and prayed that she’d take the hint and go away. She was in no mood to deal with anyone, especially her annoying assistant, Reya with the loud screechy voice and her inability to take hints and leave her be. The loud thumping on her head just kept getting worse as the knocking got louder.</p><p>“Anna, come on. Open this door,” the loud screech just getting louder.</p><p>Anna picked up the empty bottle of scotch and threw it at the door using every ounce of her energy. She was seething and felt a hot ball of air in her chest. All she wanted was to be left alone. Why can’t people understand that?</p><p>She watched the bottle of scotch hit the door smashing into millions of tiny pieces on the floor.</p><p>“CAN’T YOU TAKE A DAMN HINT REYA, SAY WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT AND GET OUT. STOP KNOCKING ON MY DOOR, STOP BARGING IN HERE EVERY MORNING WITH YOUR SCREECHY MINNIE MOUSE VOICE, AND GET IT IN YOUR HEAD THAT I DO NOT WANT TO TALK TO YOU,” Anna screamed ready to throw a second bottle until she heard the knocking stop, the receding footsteps and the muffled sobs. She felt her fists unclench and saw the little crescent moon shaped marks left on her palm and felt her anger start to subside.</p><p>Anna mentally groaned. She for the life of her couldn’t stop upsetting the people in her life. Her inability to control her anger or any of her other emotions was what got her into the mess she’s in today. Why Reya has stuck around with her the past two months she will never understand.</p><p>She pulled the covers off of her begrudgingly and muffled a loud groan as her headache resembled knives piercing through her head as she got up. She stomped over to the door and threw it open.</p><p>“What?,” Anna asked, trying to keep the irritation at the tears coming out of her assistant’s eyes out of her voice.</p><p>Reya quickly composed herself, trying to wipe her tears out of her eyes and Anna saw a flash of fear as she walked over. She looked down, then looked back up and then quickly did a double take to the floor.</p><p>“Anna, you’re bleeding,” Reya gasped as she pointed to the bloody footsteps on the floor that followed out to the lounge where Anna currently stood.</p><p>Anna glanced down at her feet and her eyes widened for a second before a smirk took. She shrugged before growling, “Whatever, I didn’t even notice it. Tell me what the fuck you want Reya I have things to do.” Reya hesitated for a second, wondering if she should push it before deciding against it not wanting to deal with any more wrath that morning.</p><p>“Here’s your schedule for the day. You have an interview this evening with Graham Norton. You have a meeting with your manager in 2 hours and he expressed that this is your biggest interview to date and to please...uhm be prepared and on time,” Reya mumbled out professionally leaving out the colorful language Anna’s manager had said.</p><p>Anna rolled her eyes, snatched the paper before crumbling it in her hand and glancing back up to Reya.</p><p>“Right anything else your highness,” Anna said sarcastically, really wanting to be left alone.</p><p>Interviews these days only consisted of one topic and that was her broken relationship. She felt her heart start to speed up and surprisingly felt even more tears start to prickle at the thought of answering yet more questions about how she royally fucked up the best thing to ever happen to her.</p><p>Reya just stared at her sadly and handed her a tissue before walking away, giving Anna her space. Anna glanced at her retreating back for a split second considering yelling out an apology before shaking her head and walking inside her room suddenly feeling the pain in her feet. Her mind wandered to Reya as she slumped back on her bed.</p><p>She’d dealt with a lot of Anna’s breakdowns lately and had seen several different sides of her. This side by far was the worst she’d ever seen. This is new, this level of anger and bitchiness surprised even Anna but there was just no control over those emotions. She couldn’t handle it and she didn’t know what to do. Throwing a bottle of scotch may have crossed the line a little but when the anger hit, there was no stopping.</p><p>As bitchy as she was, Reya just dealt with all of it as professionally as possible and was there every morning dealing with the same shit given to her and still hasn’t quit. She’ll give her another week. After getting a glass bottle thrown at her this morning and that flash of fear in her eyes, she didn’t anticipate Reya being there anytime soon.</p><p>Her mind wandered to the crumpled up paper in her hand and she felt the familiar pit in her stomach. That was it, she refused to cry again this morning to get her emotions out. Needing a distraction, she walked over to the dresser and pulled out a first aid kit. She carefully wiped off the blood that covered the bottom heel of her foot from the glass that had pierced through her skin and bandaged it up. She popped some aspirin in her mouth and chugged a bottle of water before walking over the closet and pulling on a sports bra and a pair of leggings. She grabbed her sneakers, pulled her hair up and this time carefully stepped over all the glass on the floor limping over to her home gym.</p><p>She didn’t bother stretching, just jumped on and turned the machine on slowly starting on a gentle jog. She popped her earbuds into her ears and put on her favorite playlist.</p><p>Running and lifting weights was her thing, it made her body ache and it gave her something else to focus on with the mess surrounding her life recently. She cranked up the speed and continued cranking it up until she finally felt that burn in her legs that she longed for. She sprinted for 30 straight minutes straight desperately wanting more of this physical pain that took her mind off of everything else in her life. She cranked up the speed even more until she was running so fast her legs were struggling to keep up with her. She could only keep going for a couple minutes before she felt her legs ready to give out and the feeling of nausea hit her. She slowed herself down to a stop and immediately slumped to the ground gasping for breath; her legs burning and her already injured and bandaged feet almost had her screaming at the top of her lungs.</p><p>She was laying on her stomach listening to Till I Collapse by Eminem blasting in her ears, her hands covering her face willing away the dizziness and nausea that was still hitting her.</p><p>When she finally felt the head spinning stop, she picked her head up and screamed.</p><p>“PRIYA, WHAT THE HELL.” She narrowed her eyes semi-playfully at her best friend who was standing at the door speechless with her mouth wide open.</p><p>Anna abruptly stood up and felt a wave of dizziness hit her as she backed up against the wall to steady herself.</p><p>“Bloody hell Priya you can’t sneak up on me like that, you’re about to lose key privileges,” Anna said as she glared at her in mock exasperation.</p><p>“Well I’d say you deserve it after blowing us off for the 5th time this week,” She yelled glaring right back before immediately walking over to help.</p><p>Anna was back in her hometown, Manchester this week to end the UK leg of her tour and took every measure possible to avoid everyone and their eyes that looked at her with pity and nothing else. But no matter what she tried, she couldn’t escape her beautiful sunflower.</p><p>For the past two months, she’d occasionally spoken to Priya over the phone. A few weeks ago, when she refused to stop blowing me up with calls, she surprised me at my Belfast show. Anna was struggling and she knew it, but Priya finally saw the extent of it for the first time today.</p><p>“What the hell was that Anna, I’ve been standing there for 15 minutes watching you sprint like a mad woman and I’m pretty sure you were already sprinting before that and just when I thought you were going to stop, you just sped up even more,” she cried incredulously.</p><p>Anna waved her hands in the hair trying to brush it off and make it clear she wasn’t getting into it and was not having a discussion about it. Her training habits were hers. They may not be a healthy way to deal with her emotions but it's working and it's something that has been a savior to keep her somewhat sane. She didn’t need anyone questioning her.</p><p>Anna pushed off the wall and trudged over to her room signalling the end to the conversation. Priya knew better than to push her at that moment.</p><p>She sat down at her vanity and stared at herself in the mirror. Her face was drenched in sweat. The dark circles under her emotionless, blank eyes getting darker by the day. Her skin dry and pale from her not touching her skin care routine in months and hardly ever stepping out in the sun. She couldn’t recognize this person staring back at her. She’d never looked more lifeless. She stared at the multiple make up bottles in front of her and chuckled. There’s no such thing as magic but makeup comes pretty close.</p><p>“My god Anna you look horrible,” Priya, who had followed her in her room, blurted out and Anna burst out laughing. If Priya was anything she’s blunt and straightforward. She turned to look at Priya who was eyeing the broken glass on the floor with a wary expression.</p><p>“Really? I was hoping I’d finally get to walk the runway at London Fashion Week with this look,” Anna said, wanting to break the apparent tension as she put her head into her palms wishing away the constant pounding in my forehead that had returned the minute the treadmill pain faded away.</p><p>Priya forced a laugh out and walked over to the wall closest to the vanity and leaned against it. If there was one person that truly saw every part of her it was Priya. It didn’t take Priya a single minute to realize Anna was aching for Bobby in the villa and realized her feelings for him immediately. She was her rock in there and nothing made Anna’s heart swell up more than seeing how happy Priya and Noah were together.</p><p>Priya stood up and looked around the room at the multiple empty bottles of liquor, the sheer blanket of sweat that covered Anna’s pale face devoid of any life, and her little treadmill episode no one had ever seen up till today. There was no pretending anymore. Priya sighed and came over to kneel in front of Anna, clasping Anna’s cold, sweaty hands inside of her own.</p><p>“Babe, I love you, but you can’t keep going on like this. You’re killing yourself and you don’t even see it. I knew you took this hard but I had no idea things were still this bad,” She whispered softly.</p><p>Anna felt tears well in her eyes and suddenly felt soft, warm hands around her neck as Priya pulled her into a hug. The dam suddenly broke and the tears started flowing out. She stayed in Priya’s arms for what felt like an eternity, just letting all the emotions she’d been feeling finally come fully out.</p><p>After what seemed like forever, her breathing calmed and returned to normal and she was able to get her heart rate down and the loud sobs stopped.</p><p>“I just don’t get it,” said Priya, suddenly pulling away and standing up. Anna looked up at her and saw Priya pacing back and forth with an angry pout on her face that Anna was not used to.</p><p>“Get what?” Anna said.</p><p>She stood there with a conflicted look on her face which immediately turned into a determined one.</p><p>“You’re here miserable, about to kill yourself from drinking and that damn treadmill and on top of that looking like Casper the ghost just floating through the day thinking that fake smile you have on your face is enough to fool everyone into thinking you’re okay. Meanwhile he’s over there refusing to see or talk to anyone except the lads, looking like he’s aged from 25 to 70 in 2 months, and from the looks of it opening up a second bakery in his apartment from the constant baking to deal with the fact that you’re gone,” She blurted out angrily; her eyes blazing in a way she’d truly never seen before.</p><p>Her eyes landed back on mine with the same fire in them as before, “You’re both miserable without each other, love each other more than anyone I’ve ever seen, and at this rate killing yourselves because you’re both too proud to reach out to each other, I don’t get it,” She continued.</p><p>Anna stared into the palms of my hands, opening and closing my mouth like a goldfish, not knowing what to say or even begin to explain how wrong she is.</p><p>She understood it perfectly.</p><p>13 months ago we walked off stage, hand in hand after winning Love Island with plans to be together for the rest of our lives, now here we are, surrounded by broken promises and a broken relationship that seems irreparable no matter how hard we want to try.</p><p>“It’s pretty straightforward Priya. I fucked up and we’re in this position because I was selfish. I promised that man I’d spend every waking minute making sure I kept a smile on his face and I kept that promise for what? A day? He went out of his way every day putting my happiness above his, always pushed me to follow my dreams and supported me no matter how much it hurt him and what did I do? I put him and our relationship on the back burner and took him for granted every single day. I promised him I’d never hurt him, that I’d always put him first, that nothing was going to separate us,” She took a deep breath, steadying her ragged breathing, “I broke each and every one of those promises like they were nothing. I don’t deserve him and he doesn’t deserve this broken mess of a person who snatched his smile off his face,” she yelled, frowning at the tone in her voice. The last thing she wanted to do is take her emotions out on Priya.</p><p>“You’re being awfully hard on yourself Anna. You made a mistake but it’s not the end of the world. I’d say you are both at fault here and you need to stop blaming yourself for all of it. A healthy relationship takes two people, and it takes two people to break it. From the moment I walked into that villa that first day and I saw the way both of you looked at each other, I knew you two were meant to be and you weren’t even bloody together at that point nor did you realize your own feelings. This is a speed bump babe, and speed bumps may cause some ups and downs, but a love as strong as yours can overcome anything,” Priya said, stroking Anna’s face affectionately.</p><p>“I understand what you’re trying to do Priya, but it’s over. He hates me and he made it clear that he doesn’t want to see or hear from me ever again. I’m going to honor that and respect his wishes. With time I know he’ll heal and find someone who will put him first and treat him the way he deserves. I know he’s hurting but he’s going to hurt more with me in his life,” Anna said firmly but softly, really not wanting to talk about this anymore. The thought of him moving on was unbearable but necessary. He couldn’t spend the rest of his life alone because of her. He wouldn’t survive. He <em>has</em> to move on eventually and she’s gonna have to accept that and move on as well.</p><p>Priya opened her mouth to retaliate and Anna stopped her and pleaded, “Please babe, I can’t talk about this anymore. I’ve spent the past 2 months alone overthinking and analyzing this situation in every possible way, and I just can’t do it anymore. This is the first time I’m seeing you in weeks I want to hear all about your latest projects and how you’ve been doing.”</p><p>She sighed and nodded, “I’ll let it go for now Anna, but only because you have to meet that jerk of a manager in an hour and as your best friend I cannot let you leave the house looking like this.” Anna laughed and had a genuine smile on my face for the first time that week. She listened as Priya rambled on about her fashion line she had been working on for the past few months enjoying the few pain-free moments she had.</p><p>
  <strong> Bobby’s POV </strong>
</p><p>Bobby stared at the multiple cupcake trays in front of him and internally groaned. He can’t even make cupcakes anymore without thinking of her. It’s been 2 months and it still feels like it was just yesterday that the two of them were screaming at each other yelling words that he knew he never meant. It feels like it was yesterday she ripped his heart out and stomped on it. His feelings for her haven’t changed, He’s still as stupidly in love with her even after everything she’s done. He’s a gone man.</p><p>His mind failed him and wandered to the little nose twitch she did when she was sat thinking deeply about something, her soft laugh whenever he told one of his corny jokes, the way her head tilted back when his lips touched her neck, the soft moan that escaped from her mouth every time he gathered her up in my arms, her coffee cups all over the apartment with her signature red lipstick stain, the many times he’d woken up to soft singing and stringing of her guitar on the balcony when she was too stressed to sleep. He picked up one of the freshly iced cupcakes he just frosted and stared at it as his mind wandered to the first time they baked cupcakes together in the Villa.</p><p>
  <em>I had walked in on Anna in the kitchen as she was furiously cracking eggs into a bowl and mixing them. I chuckled slightly before going and standing next to her, “I was going to tell you a cool egg joke but after the way you’re beating hard at them, I’m sure you’re too eggs-hausted,” I said grinning but mentally scolding myself for the lame joke. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I remembered seeing the corners of her mouth turn up slightly and mentally high-fived himself for putting a smile on her face. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Do better Bobby,” she said giggling. I laughed before turning back to the bowl she had in her hands and I gasped. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You’re making cupcakes? Without me? Do you even know who I am?” I yelled out glaring at her mockingly. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I thought you could use some baking tips after that dry ass cupcake you made during the talent show, thought I’d make a batch to show you how it should be done,” she said, smirking. I pushed her shoulder playfully and pouted crossing my hands across my chest in mock anger as she giggled. I saw her smile slowly turn back into the frown I had walked in on earlier. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Seriously though, are you okay?” I asked her softly as I took the cupcake mixture out of her hands before the batter inevitably went flying around the kitchen. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She sighed and shook her head, “I’m just used to it you know? The second I fall for a guy they turn around and find someone better and stab me in the back. I just don’t get why I’m never enough,” she muttered.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> I looked at her sadly and empathetically. Anna had picked Rocco on her first day and fell pretty hard for his stupid charm only to realize he was grafting on every single girl in the Villa behind her back and even kissed and started something with Marisol in front of her while they were coupled up. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You just haven’t met the right guy yet, as the saying goes there’s a lid for every pot. When you finally find a lid that fits, it’ll make sense to you why all the others were too big or too small. The right lid will be the perfect fit for you and will be just right,” he said, winking at her as he poured the batter into cupcake tins and popped them in the oven. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>A small smile began to form on her face and a familiar twinkle returned in her eye. He smiled to himself, glad to be the reason she’s happy again, even if it was temporary relief. He glanced at her as she was going through the cupboards looking for materials to make icing with and gazed longingly at her black locks bouncing up and down. Her frustrated groans at not finding the powdered sugar were so cute I almost wanted to watch her struggle. I smirked, walked over and bumped her hip to the side as I reached to the top shelf and pulled the powdered sugar down. I remember her playful gasp as she bumped my hip back. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Don’t start something you can’t finish,” she whispered softly in my ear before turning away and mixing the icing together. I felt my heart stop and my cheeks flushed bright red. I quickly regained my composure and smiled at the plan forming in my head, grabbing the icing bowl out of her hand and putting it into a pastry bag. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Before she could even react, I aimed and sprayed the icing at her until she was covered from head to toe. She yelped out in shock, looking herself over before yelling out my name in playful anger.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> I couldn’t help myself, I doubled over laughing at the angry face she attempted to make at me which made her look more like a harmless puppy. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She glanced at me with a mischievous glint, “Two can play at that game,” she said as she stepped forward and tackled me to the ground. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She landed on top of me and started rubbing icing everywhere as we both doubled over in laughter, now covered in sticky icing. She stood slightly, grabbed the bottle of glitter and threw it all over my chest and face before standing up, towering over me with her all too famous smirk.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Looking delicious,” she said, winking, trying to hold back a laugh. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I reached up and pulled her right back down, grabbing a handful of glitter and throwing it right back over her; both of us now crying with laughter. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I felt her elbow slip and she fell straight on my chest with her face landing dangerously close to mine. Her lips were so close I could hear her staggered deep breaths as she gazed into my eyes with a look I’ve never seen before. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>We stayed that way for what seemed like forever before she gave a small smile, took her finger and ran it down my chest scooping up the icing. She stared into my eyes before putting her finger in her mouth and licking it off slowly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> I groaned internally at the sight, and muttered, “Oh my god, Anna, are you trying to kill me?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Like I said… delicious,” she breathed out. Nothing usually leaves me speechless but here I was, unable to get a single word out of my mouth. We just stared at each other with stupid grins on our faces. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Anna had stolen his heart from the moment she stepped out onto the lawn with her playful demeanor and fit body, but she had picked Rocco and he ended right back in the friend zone per-usual. Somewhere in his mind, he could tell Anna felt something for him. The way she looked at him at times, the way she treated him differently then every other guy in that villa which was why it shocked him when she vehemently argued to stay coupled up with Rocco and give him chance upon chance. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He didn’t really care because in some corner of his mind, he still believed they’d end up together and now he was ready to fight for her. Anna was the epitome of perfection in his eyes - full of life, endless playful banter, her fiery attitude and the way she put people in their place, sexy as hell, always put everyone else in the Villa above herself, and she was honestly everything he could’ve ever thought up for himself. He didn’t care what she was to him, as long as she stayed in his life. If it took being her best friend at the moment for her to realize her feelings for him that’s what he would do. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>We were so lost in each other that we didn’t hear footsteps and voices approaching until the last second and it was too late to get off the floor. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“What’s going on in here,” yelled Ibrahim and Priya as they stepped into the kitchen, staring wide eyed at the mess and then down at us on the floor. We both stared at each other before bursting out with laughter again. I looked at her laughing and was happy that my plan to snap her out of her misery worked and maybe worked better than I’d thought. </em>
</p><p>He didn’t even realize he had been crying until he felt the tears start dripping on to his hand still holding the cupcake up. He stared at the cupcake, smashed it in his hand and threw it across the kitchen feeling built up anger starting to kick off again. Anger, sadness, confusion, and loneliness have been reoccurring emotions for him lately. He wished he could take that entire day back.</p><p>He wished he could start over and do what he normally did and friendzoned her from the start, but he naively let his guard down and now he’s left with his heart completely shattered.</p><p>He took another cupcake and smashed it to the ground and kept going until all 24 cupcakes he just baked were smashed into tiny crumbs all over the kitchen floor and counter. He’d never been good at handling his emotions but these are emotions he thought he would be used to. Girls have done this to him countless times, but this one unsurprisingly hit him the hardest.</p><p>Anna was the girl of his dreams, his other half, the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, and right now, he wished he never fucking met her.</p><p>He chucked slightly knowing he was bullshiting and it was just the anger talking. He loved that girl even after everything and he doesn't think those feelings are going away anytime soon.</p><p>His mind stupidly kept wandering back to her soft pink lips, captivating blue eyes, her luscious black locks of curls that he loved running his hands through, every curve on her body that seemed like they were made to fit perfectly in my hands. But the one thing he missed more than anything else was her soft calming voice. The voice he spent the past year listening to whether it was at 3 AM on the balcony, at a stadium surrounded by thousands of people, or his favorite memory in their bed when she would sing to him at night after a stressful day.</p><p>“Why’d you leave Anna? What did I do to deserve this constant torture?” he yelled out, shaking his head willing the tears away. He bent down to start cleaning up the cupcake mess when he heard multiple knocks at the door. He groaned before turning and glaring at the door thinking if he stared long enough whoever it was would disappear.</p><p>“I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE BOBBY, NOW OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR BEFORE I KARATE CHOP IT OPEN.”</p><p>He shook his head feeling his lips turn slightly upward. How did he forget it’s Friday? He got up and grimaced at the mess making a mental note to clean up later and walked to the door. He opened it and almost got trampled by Gary, Noah, and Ibrahim as they ran in with beer and pizza suffocating him with hugs and punches.</p><p>“You forgot didn’t you?” said Gary squinting his eyes suspiciously.</p><p>“How could I? You’re here every Friday at the same time with the same karate chop threat,” said Bobby rolling his eyes.</p><p>“Well you refuse to come out with us, don’t answer our calls or texts, what’d you expect,” said Ibrahim.</p><p>Bobby had to hand it to them, the lads have given up every Friday night for the past two months to come over and take his mind off the broken mess that’s become his life. They’re the only people he’s let in. He knew they wouldn’t talk much about Anna because none of them were about that soppy shit. He never let Chelsea in either because there was one thing she’d talk about, and that was Anna. He did talk to her on the phone a lot though, that way he could hang up if it got too much.</p><p>“I appreciate it lads, let me go grab some plates,” He said as he walked away pulling out some plates.</p><p>“Hey, you got any grated parmesan…,” Noah said as he walked into the kitchen and abruptly stopped at the entrance, staring at the smashed cupcakes and assortment of random desserts littered around the counters. His eyes were full of complete sadness when they landed back on Bobby.</p><p>Bobby whipped his head around, not wanting to see that bloody sympathetic look, put the plates down and leaned against the counter, catching his breath before turning back around painting on a smile ready to spout out a joke about smashing cupcakes, but the look on Noah’s face stopped him.</p><p>“You don’t have to keep doing that man, you’re allowed to be angry and upset right now. You don’t have to pretend to be okay around us. Not that we believe it when you say it anyway,” said Noah, walking over and leaning on the counter opposite from him.</p><p>Bobby averted his eyes and stared at the crumbs all over his kitchen floor, not really sure what to say.</p><p>“There’s just so many emotions. I’m not quite sure what to do with them,” he finally said, sighing, knowing Noah wasn’t going to let up.</p><p>“You know there are better ways to get these emotions out that may require a little less cleanup?” Noah suggested, smiling a little.</p><p>Bobby raised his eyebrows in response, “what’s that?”</p><p>“Talking. I’m not going to force you to talk, but just know that sometimes letting out all those emotions and thoughts that are just buried in your head helps take a huge weight off your chest. You’ve been living in your mind with everything, I’m honestly surprised you’re still standing here sane,” said Noah.</p><p>Bobby chuckled at the truth behind that statement, “Yeah, barely.”</p><p>He shot him a grateful smile, “Thanks, I know you all have been giving up every Friday to come here and I just…I’m very grateful that I met you all in that fucking Villa on national TV. We really lucked out, didn’t we?”</p><p>Noah walked over and gently punched his shoulder, “You never have to thank us, we got you.”</p><p>Bobby handed Noah the plates as he stepped over the cupcake crumbs and went to the spice cabinet. Noah looked around the kitchen again this time with an amused expression as I pulled out grated parmesan and they both walked out to the living room, laughing slightly at Bobby’s silliness and stupidity.</p><p>“Alright?” said Ibrahim with a wary expression. They nodded and smiled before handing plates around.</p><p>Bobby saw Ibrahim, Noah, and Gary looking at each other with a look and he sighed loudly in mock exasperation at the awkwardness of what went on in the kitchen.</p><p>“You all don’t have to walk on eggshells around me you know, I don’t bite…unless you’re into that,” Bobby said winking before stuffing pizza in his mouth.</p><p>That’s all it took for laughter to start roaring through the apartment. Laughter that hasn’t been heard in the apartment for a while. Bobby smiled, the physical pain in his body gone and he was grateful even though he knew it’ll return just as quickly as it left but he didn’t want to think about that right now. He didn’t want to think about anything.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. I'm only half a man without you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning: this chapter may make you cry. </p>
<p>Also, my apologies for the delay in updates. I am def trying to keep to a schedule and update more frequently but this one was a tough one to write. </p>
<p>Hope ya'll enjoy! Any comments, kudos, feedback are appreciated :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>You got me lying here wide awake</em><br/>
<em>Remembering the moment</em><br/>
<em>That you walked out on me</em><br/>
<em>I keep on wondering am I to blame?</em><br/>
<em>If I did something different</em><br/>
<em>Will you still be with me</em>
</p>
<p>Can't Forget You- Arjun </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>Bobby’s POV</em>
  </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ouch, I swear Gary if you hit me with that broom one more time,” said Ibrahim, throwing a surly glance at Gary who was standing on Bobby’s kitchen counter trying to “knight” everyone. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s King Gary to you now get on with it, this kitchen isn’t gonna clean itself,” yelled Gary once again trying to poke Ibrahim’s shoulder with the broomstick. Ibrahim picked up his own broom he was using to sweep the floor and whacked him upside his head. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bobby and Noah just chuckled to themselves as they all cleaned up Bobby’s little cupcake episode from earlier. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s getting a wee bit warm in here, bring in the grapes and fans boys,” yelled Gary directing his broom towards the living room. There was a collective groan followed by 3 loud SHUT UPs. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bobby rinsed off another plate putting it in the dishwasher and rolled his eyes, “No wonder you’re so warm with those hairy legs insulating you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You dare insult your king? Off with your head,” yelled Gary poking the back of Bobby’s neck. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bobby just forced a chuckle and turned back to the dishes. Normally at this point he’d be coming up with joke upon joke to keep the conversation going, but there was just this constant dark cloud over his head. It’s like he didn’t know how to be himself anymore. Bobby’s silence didn’t go unnoticed as the lads all gave each other a wary glance before sighing and going back to what they were doing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Noah wiped frosting off the counter mumbling, “I swear, I wonder how Lottie puts up with you on daily basis.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gary chuckled looking a little starry eyed as he hops off the counter, “Who knows mate, I’m just glad she does.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gary immediately stops and looks at Bobby apologetically not wanting to remind him of his broken relationship with their successful ones. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please stop looking at me like that. I always want to hear about your relationships no matter what. I’m so bloody happy for you lot,” Bobby objected, trying his best to not fall apart. It was true, he was so happy they all found someone to spend their lives with. His mates deserved all the happiness even if he didn’t have that anymore. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How is Lottie doing by the way?” asked Bobby, putting the last of the dishes in the dishwasher before opening the cabinet under the sink looking for the dishwasher soap. Gary was still hesitant on saying much, not wanting to trip over his words and upset his mate. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She’s been really busy but she’s loving LA. Her makeup services are so in demand right now she’s had to turn a bunch of people away and hire 2 assistants. She thinks she’ll be able to open her own company within the following year and hopefully make plans to move back. Can’t say I haven’t been worried. Long distance isn’t all it’s cut out to be. I’d move out there with her in a heartbeat but my nan...I can’t leave her ,” murmured Gary, averting his eyes to the floor showing a rare, vulnerable side to him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Noah, Ibrahim, and Bobby all went up to Gary and pulled him into a group hug. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You big lug,” smirked Ibrahim, putting Gary into a half assed head lock. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You two will make it, you’re meant for each other you know especially with her putting up with your nonsense for the past year,” reassured Noah with Ibrahim and Bobby murmuring agreements. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay enough of this melt fest, the last one to the living room has to give me a foot massage,” yelled Gary sprinting off to the living room immediately cutting off any further discussion.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ibrahim raised his eyebrows before shaking his head at the remaining boys and turning towards the living room. They all walked back and settled on the couch. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gary stuck his foot out in Noah’s face, “Hey rules are rules.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After Noah whacked his foot away for the 18th time, Gary finally conceded with a huge sigh and picked up the remote flipping through channels. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bobby just watched their little exchange quietly with a forced smile. That’s usually him. The one driving people mad, the one making jokes and running around the apartment hitting people with broomsticks, the one making the starry eyes when talking about how amazing his life was. He</span>
  <span> gulped wishing away the familiar lump forming in his throat, blinking back tears at how drastically things have changed. He looked around the apartment he used to love that’s now just a graveyard of memories haunting him every second of the day. His eyes moved to the slight discolor of paint in the lower right corner of the living room, a discolor nobody would ever notice but one that held a memory he can’t escape. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I peeked out of the bedroom door and saw Anna on the ground mixing red paint in a bucket for the moldings. I stopped and just stared at her for a second. Her black curls were up in a high messy bun, white and red paint all over her face and clothes. Shaking myself out of my trance,  I put on the Chucky mask that always sends her screaming. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span> I smirked knowing she had no idea I was home from the paint store already. I looked at my hands and grimaced at the splinters I got from climbing the tree up to our balcony to sneak into the apartment. I stepped out and moved the door forward hearing the small creak and saw her flinch and whip her head back towards the bedroom. I bit my tongue to keep from laughing as I hid behind the wall covering me from her eyes. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I heard the scuffling of her feet and then the foil of the paint bucket and I peeked back around to see her pouring the mixed paint into the foil bucket before picking it up and walking to the corner to get started on painting the moldings. I creeped out from behind the wall and slowly walked over to her until I was only a few feet away. She didn’t notice me immediately. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hi I’m Chucky, your friend till the very end,” I squeaked out in my best Chucky voice that I had been practicing for a moment as perfect as this. I’ve never seen a woman whip her body around as fast as she had in that moment. The foil bucket full of paint went flying all over the floor and the corner of the wall while her deafening screams were ringing all throughout the apartment. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“BOBBY,” she screamed, looking herself over drenched in red paint. I couldn’t help it, she looked so adorable I burst out laughing. I put my hands on my knees continuing to die of laughter unable to catch my breath. I made the mistake of looking up at her and her pouty face and narrow eyes just made me laugh even harder till I was on the floor doubled over in laughter. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>She looked like a mix of the blood-spattered warrior and a puppy pouting. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“When did you even get home to have time to do all this,” she huffed out looking over her body with a small grimace. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Just climbed up the tree like 15 minutes ago,” I said nonchalantly, shrugging my shoulders. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“And nobody questioned a grown ass man in a Chucky mask climbing up a tree breaking into somebody’s apartment? Are we sure we want to live here?” she grumbled, shaking excess paint off of her soft and toned tan skin.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span> I just stared, a little starry eyed at her unable to think straight as she stood there sighing running her hands up and down her arms trying to get excess paint off. I kept watching as the back of her hand went up to her forehead as she tried wiping off paint but making it even worse. I grinned at her angry sigh when she realized she had made it worse. Is she really all mine? Am I still dreaming? Is this really my life? Maybe I should ask her to pinch me to see if this is real. But what if it’s not and I end up waking up on the daybeds back at the Villa? I could sense my mind going into overdrive, something Anna did to me quite often. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Sensing my eyes on her, Anna glanced back up at me, her eyes a mixture of annoyance and amusement. We just stood there like idiots staring at each other feeling the temperature in the room suddenly change and I saw her eyes darken. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Is it hot in here,” she whispered as she slowly started taking small steps towards me.  </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re in here so obviously,” I murmured, backing up till I felt the wall behind me hit my back, our eyes still locked on each other. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Is she walking in slow motion? She took one final small step up and I felt her press her body up against mine, her hands on my shoulders dragging them down to my wrists agonizingly slow. I felt the front of my jeans tighten immediately. Fuck. All Anna had to do was stand there and stare at me to turn me on. She was unbelievable and felt like a dream most days.  </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>She placed a small kiss on my neck before dragging her lips all the way up to my ear before whispering, “you are so fucking annoying you know that?” I smirked a little looking at the position we’re currently locked in.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“You know, I’m starting to think you just like pinning me against things Cutie,”I murmured into her ear out a little breathless. She coughed and choked with her cheeks turning bright red, clearly not expecting that response. She was losing the upper hand here and she knew it. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>She smiled at me mischievously and pressed into me even deeper and started grinding against my hard on. I closed my eyes not wanting to give in to her challenge and when I opened them again I found her face dangerously close to mine, lips pressed against my cheek kissing her way up to the sweet spot behind my ear, sucking sweetly. I fought every moan that attempted escaping my mouth as the sensation of her lips was getting me harder until I questioned if there was any blood left in my head. I felt her drag her arms tantalizingly slow down my chest towards the waistband of my jeans. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>A throaty moan escaped when I felt her hand graze over the fabric of my jeans and cup the outline of my length. I craved her, every inch of her, every hour of the day. I couldn’t help it, she was a drug that I couldn’t live without. I wrapped my hands around her waist and tried to pull her even closer which wasn’t possible and she grinned looking at the dangerous level of want on my face. I couldn’t hide it even if I tried. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I had to give in, I needed my lips on her. I needed to feel her. She could have this one but that’s only cause I know I’ll get her back for this teasing later tonight. I wrapped my arms around her waist and leaned into her face to kiss her and just as our lips were about to touch she turned her cheek, removed her hands from my waistband and stepped back smirking at the expression on my face. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>No, she had to be kidding me right now. I truly questioned if she was trying to kill me in that moment because that’s surely what it felt like. I opened my mouth in protest but she cut me off with her finger. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“So I’m gonna go shower yeah? You’ll clean this up?” she sang biting her tongue to keep from laughing at the annoyed expression that I was sure was apparent on my face. She leaned in again and whispered softly, “payback’s a bitch.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>She winked and pulled away making her way towards the bathroom just as I stammered out,”BABE!” She turned and locked eyes with me and I painfully watched her pull her top off. Her now exposed chest enough to bring me to my knees. She held her arm out and dropped it down winking at me. She kept her eyes locked on mine as she slowly walked backwards towards the bathroom. She grinned at me before entering and shutting the door behind her. I took some deep breaths and closed my eyes trying to calm myself down and gain some control over this stiff hard on till I heard that sweet voice that always reminded me of home sing out. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“You know, I might need some help getting this paint off my back.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I grinned and shook my head pushing off the wall speed walking towards the bathroom. I stopped outside and looked up putting my hands together thanking god for this life I never thought I’d be lucky enough to get. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He had a gorgeous home in downtown Glasgow that he shared with the love of his life that no longer felt like home but this constant reminder that he’s alone. It wasn’t home anymore, just an empty apartment. He has an amazing group of mates and his career has skyrocketed with his bakery, Bobbycakes opening but none of it mattered to him at that moment. It’s like his entire life had been snatched out from beneath him. He wasn’t himself anymore and felt like a part of him was just gone. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He and Anna had their problems like any couple out there but he never realized how much their problems had escalated till they both reached their breaking points with each other.  Just like in the villa, he was determined to fight for their relationship. He fought everyday to keep the spark alive. Planning surprise dates, surprising her with flowers, giving her space when she needed it, being the supportive boyfriend at all her events, being her biggest cheerleader, but nothing was ever enough. He thought he did everything right and she still left. Was he to blame? Did he cause this? Was he not attentive enough? Those thoughts constantly consumed him and he wished he had the answers. He wished there was some book that had these answers.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“BOBBY” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bobby snapped out of his trance to see Ibrahim holding a bottle of beer up to his face while Noah and Gary gave him a questioning look. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright?” asked Noah, looking a little concerned. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bobby nodded and painted a smile on his face, accepting the bottle and sitting up to put up the pretense that he was paying attention. The boys decided not to push him any further, not wanting to dampen the mood.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ibrahim nodded towards the TV, “Put on Graham Norton, I heard someone huge is on tonight.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What who?” probed Gary reluctantly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not sure, Jo got some inner gossip from a friend and texted me earlier and said we should watch it tonight. She wasn’t really specific, just said we shouldn’t miss out” shrugged Ibrahim taking a big gulp out of his bottle. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah but how reliable is her friend really. Watch it turn out to be Roxanne Pallett or even worse Kim Kardashian,” sighed Gary looking a little bored. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Graham’s always a hoot, let’s give it a shot,” suggested Bobby. He’s not the most avid Graham Norton Show watcher but he sure did know how to get his guests talking and it’s always extremely entertaining. It’s just what they needed to lighten the mood. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gary, still reluctant, started slowly flipping through channels to find the show. We sat and watched through his intro. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“On the show tonight, first up we have former winner of the hit show Love Island who’s recently been making huge career moves and from the looks of it trying to give Carrie Underwood a run for her money. We wanted to make her feel more at home so we’ve decided to turn the set into the Love Island villa communal bedroom, put up some colorful cursive vinyl stickers around the studio and my Graham Norton special-a bottle of holy water.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bobby’s eyes widened as the audience burst out laughing and clapping. Gary and Ibrahim both jumped up and reached for the remote to try and turn the TV off while Noah just stared at Bobby not knowing what to expect. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry mate, I don’t know what Jo was thinking,” mumbled Ibrahim looking at Bobby apologetically while Gary continued to fumble with the remote. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t,” whispered Bobby holding up his hand, “I want to see this.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t think that’s a good-” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Leave it on,” said Bobby a little firmly this time. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The boys sighed collectively and seemed to be having a mental conversation within themselves on whether they should push it and just turn it off or honor Bobby’s wishes. Bobby didn’t care though, he needed to see her, hear her, be given some reminder that she’s still there and hasn’t completely disappeared. He knew he was making a mistake. He shouldn’t be watching this but he needed this, even if only for a brief moment.The boys decided on the latter but kept the remote close by if it got too hard to watch. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bobby watched as the remaining 3 guests that will also be on the show were announced with their own intros feeling his heart speed up anxiously awaiting those blue eyes he was aching to see. He didn’t even hear or care who else was going to be on this show. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And we’ll be back to welcome our guests after these messages,” Bobby heard Graham say before the TV cut to some random car commercial. He was still taking slow deep breaths to try and control his racing heart. He hadn’t seen or heard her voice in 2 months. Their last conversation was 2 days after their explosive breakup where he pretty much told her to fuck off, to shove any excuse she had up her ass, and to never contact him again. Could she blame him though? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After what felt like hours, the show cut back on. Bobby watched as Graham spouted joke after joke about the other guests that were going to be on the show. Something about Harry Styles and his new single and some inflatable pants. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We have a musical performance for you by our very own Queen of the Love Island Villa and yes Hope if you’re out there watching, Anna is the real queen…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bobby chuckled a little and glanced at Noah who had his hands in his face groaning at the thought of Hope and their relationship. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Let’s give Anna a warm welcome to the stage,” shouted Graham. The applause was loud and deafening. Anna was definitely very popular but also very controversial. She was in the magazines and on online gossip columns every day even when they were together. “Bobby and Anna” along with #JusticeForBobby was trending on Twitter the day their breakup was made public and the tweets...the less said the better. She had her dedicated fans but she also had her dedicated haters. Bobby remembered having to keep an eye out on how much she checked her social media. The breakup didn’t make it any easier on her as she was the one who was blamed for breaking his heart although he was never sure how that information got out. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bobby’s breath stopped as the camera cut to Anna standing on stage. He let his eyes wander all over her taking her in.  Her black locks, her signature red lips, her blue eyes that shone with life and excitement, her dazzling smile, the navy blue off shoulder ruffled jumpsuit she was wearing, her silver high heels, every part of her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you for having me Graham, I am so excited to be here. I’ll be performing a cover song for y'all today from a group that I’ve been listening to since I was kid, a group that brought me my love of country music, and a group that has inspired me to become the artist I am today,” listened Bobby who immediately knew the group she was talking about. Little Big Town was constantly on repeat in their home. Bobby couldn’t stand country music but he put up with it because he'd 've done or listened to anything if it made her happy. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>(Good As Gone- Little Big Town)</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There's a cold feelin'</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Runnin' up and down my spine</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It seems to say we're just wastin' time</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It's like a bad movie</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>One I wish I'd never seen</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The plot gets old</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Do you know what I mean?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Don't try to tell me it ain't what it is</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I'm good</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I'm good at seein' the signs</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I'm good at reading between the lines</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>No use in hangin' on</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'Cause you're good to go</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And, baby, I'm good as gone</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>On a lost highway</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I don't know how I got where I am</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Take the next Splits-ville exit ramp</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It's like a cheap vacation</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>One I thought we planned very well</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now we've checked out of the Lovely-love hotel</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Don't try to tell me it ain't what it is</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I'm good</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I'm good at seein' the signs</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I'm good at reading between the lines</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>No use in hangin' on</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'Cause you're good to go</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And, baby, I'm good as gone</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The applause from the audience knocked Bobby out of his little trance. Her singing and her voice is something he’d never be able to get enough. It had been a long 2 months since he’s heard her voice and he didn’t know how he’d handle anymore without it. He felt tears prickle in his eyes as the hidden meaning behind this song finally hit him. She’s gone, and he needs to move on. The message was simple and couldn’t be any clearer. Noted Anna. Bobby felt the couch move beside him as he looked up and saw Gary now sitting right next to him, with an encouraging and supportive smile on his face as he squeezed Bobby’s shoulder. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>They looked back at the screen to see Anna bowing and walking over to the couch where she got a standing ovation from Graham and the 4 other guests who were waiting for her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“ANNA DAVIS EVERYBODY,” yelled Graham who walked over still clapping, grabbing her hand to lead her over to the red couch. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Anna took a seat next to Harry Styles who was looking at her with a look Bobby was not liking. He was never the jealous type. He’d never been the one to be controlling, tell his girl she couldn’t talk to or see anyone and never felt one tiny bit of jealousy in his chest. But then he met Anna and he finally understood what his mates have been feeling for years. He could feel a hot burning ball of rage in his chest as she hugged Harry and kissed him on the cheek. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So Anna thanks so much for that beautiful performance. I know I can speak for everyone here that we can’t wait to hear your single that is set to be released next month,” said Graham. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s out next month, yes,” said Anna professionally and grinning. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So Anna, I couldn’t like resist like getting like a clip like of like my like favorite clip of you from the Villa,” stuttered out Graham trying his best not to laugh. Bobby chuckled a little knowing exactly which of Anna’s scenes is about to be broadcasted out to everyone that surprisingly was not aired with the actual show. Anna put both her hands on her face as she immediately realized what Graham was talking about. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t worry Anna, I have Google Translator out as we play this clip,” said Graham. Bobby watched as Harry nudged her slightly laughing with curiosity sparkling in his eyes and it was at that moment Bobby started imagining what it would be like to smash the bottle of beer in his hand on his head. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>Ian- “Now, I’ve got a feeling you lot struggle to make out what I’m saying half the time with my Scottish accent. But after you see this next clip, you’ll be begging me to translate it. Here’s Anna saying….something?”</em>
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>Anna- “At the end of the day, like, some people, like...Some people like, have to like, be, like with a couple of people and sometimes they throw in, like. At the beginning, like, not the right people and it...People, just because they come in, it don’t mean they mean anything. I can’t help it if I’ve got a person I don’t think no one can really have got anything on. Do you know what I mean?”</em>
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>Ian- “I don’t know what you mean Anna and I tried Google Translate”</em>
  </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Anna...so uh my Google Translate just said no results found….care to explain,” laughed out Graham. This was the afternoon after Lucas and Henrik had entered the Villa and Bobby laughed remembering that whole afternoon. Anna had been invited on both dates and had gotten a little drunk off of mimosas. She was trying to make it clear to everyone that she was staying loyal to Rocco no matter who they sent in the villa since Rocco had gotten upset she went on both dates. His heart still hurt at the way Rocco treated Anna. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If I’m being honest Graham, I have no idea what I was on about,” laughed Anna. Lies. Bobby knew her lies by now and this was a blatant one. Rocco had confronted Anna before her date letting her know he was upset at the fact that she was going on both dates and this was a moment where she got drunk because she was upset. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s alright Anna, I found it quite cute,” said Harry wiggling his eyebrows at her. He saw her blush and giggle and his grip on his beer bottle got stronger every second. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bobby listened as Graham went on and embarrassed all his other guests with some funny jokes and clips but he couldn’t help but look at Anna the entire time. Her hands were consistently shaking and he noticed she didn’t touch the glass of champagne that was sitting in front of her. She was an avid drinker, even when they were together so it shocked him a little. She was quiet except for the clearly forced laugh here and there. What was going on with her? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So Anna, any men in your life?” probed Graham. Bobby felt a huge pit in his stomach as he saw Anna grin at his question. She was smiling? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well Graham, I will say I’ve been crushing hard on Harry Styles for a hot minute now,” she said, winking at Harry sitting next to her who was now blushing, “and now that I’m single…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The TV then cut off but Bobby didn’t fight it. If there was ever the lowest point of his life, this was it. His heart broke all over again. She really has moved on, like the last 13 months plus the 2 months in the Villa meant absolutely nothing to her. If there was ever any ounce of want for any type of closure, he had finally gotten it. It finally hit him, it was over. For good. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Baby inside my head the walls are closing in</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm back with an extra long chapter to make up for the wait. </p>
<p>Here's Anna...well being Anna (shaking my head) and it gets a little steamy towards the end ;)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Now in another plane </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Another foreign place </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>But it all feels the same</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> It makes me suffocate </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Lately every day feels like a prison break </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Baby inside my head the walls are closing in</em>
</p>
<p>~Can't Forget You- Arjun</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>Anna’s POV</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Anna stood and glared at the red building in front of her. She would honestly rather go drown in an ocean full of sharks then go inside. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know, glaring at the building isn’t going to miraculously make it combust into a million pieces,” said Priya looking over at Anna grinning. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Anna rolled her eyes and looked down at her watch. She was already 15 minutes late but she wasn’t kidding when she said she’d rather be eaten alive by sharks than go into any meeting with her douchebag of a manager. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Where’s the closest ocean?” Anna groaned out trying to stall time. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Priya smacked her in the arm and pushed her towards the door. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Go on, get it over with. I’ll meet you later at your interview hun,” Priya said, giving a sympathetic smile. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Anna averted her eyes and stared at the floor sighing loudly. </span>
  <span>Priya came over and started rubbing her arm up and down Anna’s arm in an unsuccessful but sweet attempt at comfort. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So you’re gonna smack me and now try to be sweet? Nah bitch get off,” Anna said as she playfully pushed Priya’s hand off. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Priya just rolled her eyes and turned away to pick up a phone call. Anna turned back to the building staring at the red bricks. She could feel her heart rate pick up from the anxiety that started building up so she started counting the bricks to try and distract herself. </span>
  <span>Comfort was unnecessary. Anna had no problem ripping her manager a new one if he overstepped the line but she knew she was in a dark place right now. She didn’t want to say anything or do anything she’d regret like this morning with Reya. Although her manager deserved to have a bottle of scotch thrown at him. He was the best in the business though, she should be grateful he took the chance on her, even if it was a personal favor to Elisa. She couldn’t afford any slip ups and lose this representation especially since Elisa had stuck her neck out for her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Anna stood there watching Priya walk off after 8 promises that she would go inside and not walk away. Anna was just about to walk towards the door when she heard some noises behind her. She whipped her head to notice a group of teenage girls walking in her direction but luckily haven’t seemed to notice her yet. Nope. She wasn’t dealing with these kids and their loud screeching today. Anna quickly popped off her black heels and ran and jumped into the bushes on the side of the building where she’d be hidden from view. She toppled over on to them and landed face first into the scratchy branches. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“OW,” yelled out Anna rubbing her forehead glaring at the bushes and branches in front of her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She looked at her hands and noticed the scratches and winced. Oh well, she’d rather deal with these scratches then a group of 16 year olds screaming and bombarding her. Anna peeked out of the bushes to see the group of girls laughing obnoxiously as they walked by and she waited for a couple extra minutes before climbing out of the bushes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Anna never knew what she would get when she encountered fans. She was loved by many but hated by many as well and people, especially young teens, have gotten really bold lately. They had no issues approaching her on the street and telling her off for hurting Bobby. She considered it karma though, it was just a price she had to pay for being a part of one of the most beloved couples to come off Love Island and for hurting UK's sweetheart. She smiled slightly thinking about how loved Bobby was by literally everybody in the country, and in other countries too. She was pretty sure she’d come across hundreds of Twitter and Instagram fan accounts all dedicated to him. She was pretty sure she’d also seen a whole Reddit page dedicated to him as well which made her chuckle. He deserved every ounce of that love and she had no problem to this day tearing apart anyone who dared to utter a negative word about him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The noises seemed to fade and Anna looked around the corner to ensure nobody else was coming around, put on her heels and crawled out of the bushes. She stood up wiping dirt off the front of her blouse and walked inside the building before she changed her mind. Her blue blazer was now covered in dirt and her black jeans were slightly ripped on the side. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Another reason to complain,” she mumbled as she knocked on the door in front of her that read Scott Lemming. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Scott and Elisa went way back and apparently Scott owed Elisa a huge favor which ended up being giving Anna a contract with his label. It always seemed to bother her that she didn’t earn her spot at Scott’s label due to her own merit but she was in no position to complain and get picky. If it weren’t for this, she’d still be playing in small coffee shops and 3 AM slots in bars with 4 drunk people as her audience. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come in,” grunted a voice Anna was so sure resembled the Grinch who surprisingly shared a personality with our dear Scott. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Anna giggled to herself before opening the door and walking inside. Her gaze landed on those stone cold green eyes that immediately gave her the chills. Her eyes moved to his arms that were crossed across his chest as he leaned against his desk. He didn’t say anything for several minutes, just standing there in his leprechaun suit. If she didn’t know better, you’d think he’s going hunting for a pot of gold after their meeting. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Okay seriously, dude’s wearing a lime green leprechaun suit with his bright green eyes and blonde hair, does he look in the mirror in the morning before leaving the house or does his mum dress him and he just blindly agrees? She could see Scott being a mama’s boy. Anna giggled again. At least she makes herself laugh. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think the rainbow’s out if you need to go,” mumbled out Anna biting her lip to keep from laughing out loud. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A flash of confusion flashed on his face before his glare returned. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“20 minutes late, no phone call or text, no apology for keeping me waiting, daring to enter my office and being out in public wearing…..whatever that is,” rambled Scott holding up his hand and moving it in a circle to emphasize the mess of her outfit. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I would have been on time if I left my house on time, also for mental health reasons I had to spend some time dealing with the fact that I had to see your face and speak to you. I won’t apologize for looking out for myself,” shrugged Anna walking over to the chair and dropping into it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She gave Scott her most innocent look daring him to continue. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thin ice Anna, that’s all I’m going to say. After your stunt at your last concert, and now this. All you’re doing is giving me a new reason each day to dump your ass,” growled Scott looking at Anna with eyes full of pure hatred. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Anna opened her mouth to spout off another smart remark but had to bite her tongue. She needed to chill, this was not the time nor place to continue to mouth off. She heard “Thank U Next,” ring from Scott’s phone and she raised her eyebrows at him looking amused. Scott ignored her as he pushed off his desk to walk to his phone. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I have to take this. I’ll be back, just...stay here and for fucks sake don’t cause any trouble,” grunted Scott as he walked outside. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She heard him shout, “Go for Scott,” and grimaced just as the door shut behind her. What a tool. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her mind wandered to what he meant when he said her stunt at her last concert as she took off her blazer and sat with her legs up on the desk in front of her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Anna, it is now 9:15, you were supposed to be on that stage at 8:00,” screamed David, Scott’s bratty 21 year old assistant, running into my dressing room. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I winced, how does a man who looks like one of Snow White’s 7 dwarfs have a screech that loud? I feel bad for his wife. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I raised my eyebrows at him while downing another shot of tequila from my flask before shrugging my shoulders and mumbling, “I’ll go on when I feel like it.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I heard him sigh loudly and stomp right back out angrily tapping his phone no doubt going on and snitching to Scott like a 5 year old tattletale. He knew better than to argue with me though and learned the hard way being on tour with me for the past 2 months.  I grinned checking off my mental checklist like I did before every show. Piss off David? Check. I downed the rest of the tequila in the flask as I stood up, wobbling a little before falling back down on the couch. I giggled. Finish an entire flask of tequila? Check. I stood up again and grabbed on to the wall to keep myself steady before slowly walking to the door of my dressing room and opening the door. I had a permanent smile on my face, which is only something that happens when alcohol is involved. It’s like it forces you to smile and let loose no matter how much you fight it. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I stepped outside and saw David turned the other way yelling on the phone. I heard some of the words spouting out of his mouth- “been an hour”, “such a rude and selfish bitch”, “I’m so over this.” I smirked and leaned against the door listening to him continue to list off some other colorful terms that I dare not repeat. I stayed like that for a couple minutes before the masochistic side of me was done hearing someone continue to degrade me verbally and my heart dropped. Only for a minute though. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>You want a bitch? I’ll give you a bitch David. I quickly stumbled over as gracefully as possible in my current state, bumped his shoulder so hard his back hit the wall and I smacked the phone right out of his hand and watched happily as it landed  with a crack on the floor a few feet away. His eyes widened and he held up his arms in defense. He looked scared shitless and I rolled my eyes.  </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“It’s 9:20 David, the clock’s ticking. We don’t have time for your whining,” I smirked before walking off down the hall towards the stage leaving him speechless and unable to move off the wall. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Good, I’d rather they fear me then continue to think they can tell me what to do. I am a bitch, the biggest one out there according to almost half the country- may as well live up to that nickname. I made my way side stage where I always enter from and waited for the go ahead. My head was spinning and the alcohol helped keep my heart from racing and the anxiety and panic of performing from rising. I watched the blonde haired girl with the headset give me a thumbs up which was my cue to enter. I didn’t even pay attention to my intro. I glanced down at my hand and noticed the empty flask was still in my hand, I chucked it to the side before walking out, entering with my hand up as if waving. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t bother with any intro or apology, honestly people are there to listen to my singing not listen to me give a speech and if they were- too bad they weren’t getting one. I grabbed my guitar, nodded at the band and the second the music started playing- I was gone. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>***</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The adrenaline from every performance usually lasts most artists for a while after every show, but not for me. The second I stepped off that stage I walked towards the nearest wall and leaned against it slowly dropping to the floor attempting to catch my breath. I put my head in between my knees the way I was taught to. Reality hit me again the second the music stopped and it was always overwhelming. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>When my head finally stopped spinning I slowly groaned as I stood up and glanced to the side to see Reya standing there smiling with my stuff in her hand. I nodded at her appreciatively before snatching it out of her hand and starting to walk off. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“You were amazing Anna, as always,” said Reya smiling. I turned back at her and smiled softly before turning back and walking towards the exit door. I heard the screaming the second the doors came to view. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“FUCK,” I shouted kicking the wall and then crying out even louder at the throbbing pain. I glared at the wall before limping away and leaning against the door.  This was supposed to be the back entrance where I could slyly sneak away before the fans who were at the actual show even made it out of their seats. How do they always find out this stuff?  I specifically defied Scott’s orders to exit from the main doors and take some time to smile for some pictures with fans and sign some autographs before leaving which was a big no. Honestly Scott, I’d rather someone shoot me. I convinced the driver to go along with my plan but it clearly backfired.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I grabbed my black hoodie and quickly put it on, hood up and tightly closed. I needed to get this over with before the huge crowd of people who were leaving the concert arena also made their way to this back exit and it would become impossible to leave. I grabbed my stuff and slammed open the doors. I clutched my hood and attempted to ignore everything around me, keeping my gaze to the ground and my middle finger up in the air, still pissed off. I could hear the cameras and the loud screaming but tuned it out until I opened the door to the black SUV and hopped in, slamming the door closed in a pap’s face. I didn’t feel one ounce of guilt, these paparazzi and journalists tore her name apart in the media and would follow her everywhere, I wasn’t giving them the time of day. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I could see the headlines tomorrow, “Love Island 2 winner and popstar Anna Davis flips off her fans” The media is going to have a field day with this and so is Scott but that’s something Future Anna can worry about. I grinned as I saw a bottle of scotch propped in the seat pocket and twisted open the cap falling into one of the only forms of comfort I can find. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Anna was a different person when she was up on that stage where it was just her and her microphone. She loses herself in her lyrics and her music. She sees nothing, not the bright lights, not the screaming fans, not her backup dancers, nothing. Music has always been her escape, but right now no matter how hard she tries there is just no escape in sight. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She puts her all into her performances which shows but there was always something missing. Everything felt overwhelming and none of this made her happy. She felt undeserving, not good enough, and opposed to what these teens out there thought; she was a human being with emotions and the constant hate gets to her. Not many people around her commented on her performances and her art. It was always her shortcomings, everything she did wrong that made the media and got her manager’s attention. What if she really was horrible at all of this? Was any of this even worth it anymore?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A small part of her had always resented Bobby for his success and how he found something that brought him so much happiness because she knew from the minute fame knocked on her doorstep and entered her life, any ounce of happiness vanished and she felt a part of her missing. Something not even Bobby could fill. She hated herself for ever feeling that way about the man who would’ve dropped anything to make her smile but she couldn’t help it. Also what an absolute asinine thought to have about the love of her life just because things weren’t going the way she imagined for herself. He did nothing to deserve it.  The thought of ever feeling any type of resentment and what that resentment led her to do and say still haunts her to this day. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Anna started losing control of her emotions and immediately started scratching, pinching, and picking at the skin on the inside of her left elbow until her nails were covered in blood and her skin was raw and sore-looking. It was a mechanism she started using when she felt herself lose control of her emotions and for the most part it helped. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She heard Scott’s loud voice booming closer to the door which meant he was on his way back. She refused to show any emotion and weakness to him. Anna grabbed her blazer and put it back on covering up her skin and wiped away any sign of tears. She stared straight ahead as she heard the door open and Scott’s loud voice yelling something in the phone. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright,” sang Scott before hanging up and making his way back to his desk settling in his chair. His good mood and singing voice gone, replaced with a cold glare. He clasped his hands together in front of him, the silence continuing to grow. He reached into the drawer and threw a magazine cover in front of me. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Headline reading, “Former Love Island winner, Anna Davis, is a ticking time bomb and heading down a dangerous road.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Anna picked up the magazine and skimmed through the article, uninterested and not surprised, which talked about her latest antics. The psychologists over at The Mirror have clearly got her all figured out, calling this a mental breakdown over her breakup with Bobby, a depressive episode that will lead to the downfall of her career, a paragraph about the need for anger management classes. Anna rolled her eyes, sighed and threw the magazine right back. There were about 4 of these articles published each week containing the same stuff. What she wanted to know is when these journalists suddenly got their psychology degrees. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do they have nothing better to do?” groaned Anna. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well you throw a new fit every other day what did you expect? You’re acting like a rebellious 16 year old trying to piss off her parents because they wouldn’t let her date Chad from the football team,” scowled Scott. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s oddly specific, speaking from personal experience or…?” smirked Anna which made Scott even angrier. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Scott slammed his fist on the desk, “Enough Anna. Look I know you’re depressed or whatever about this breakup with that...uh....,” rambled Scott clicking his fingers together in an obviously fake attempt to remember Bobby’s name, “whatever...that short dude working at that dessert store but you’re not only dragging your name through the mud right now, but you’re ruining mine. I sign and work with the best and this behavior is far from it. I will not have this associated with my label. This constant sadness, anger, bitchiness, crying over a boy persona you’ve put on has gone on for 2 months and enough is enough,” drawled Scott. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Anna stopped listening halfway through because the shock that went through her system left her utterly speechless. She knew Scott was an ass but to this extent? Did he hear himself and the words that came out of his mouth? Did he realize he was a ginormous insensitive pig? Her short fuse was ready to bust open. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Listen here you pig…,” began Anna before Scott held up his hand and gave her the most menacing look. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Pick your words very carefully right now Anna. You don’t wanna push me. My favor to Elisa has been repaid, I signed you and gave you a chance and that chance is very close to being up. One more slipup and you’ll be in violation of your contract,” scolded Scott looking at Anna like she was 6 years old. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Anna gritted her teeth willing herself to calm down. She gave up everything for her career and when she says everything...she means EVERYTHING. She had to control her mouth right now. She was shaking, every method of control she usually used was not an option at the moment and she was like a fuse box ready to blow up at any second. Her anger and inability to control herself in these moments will not be her downfall. She has too much at stake. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re going to do some damage control. I called in a personal favor to Graham Norton and he’s agreed to put you on tonight’s show as they were in need of a performer anyway. The interview will be easygoing and humorous for the most part and Graham’s agreed not to bring up baker boy which means you will not, in any circumstances, bring him up either. The media is having a field day with your pining ex girlfriend persona and we need to change that up. We need to show the world you’ve moved on,” continued Scott unsurprisingly chipper as he went on with this ridiculous plan he had. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ll be performing a song, which has already been chosen for you, and just talking about some Villa highlights along with your tour. It’s simple and straightforward and honestly there is no way for you to mess this up,” continued Scott sliding a paper out to her which had the song she would be singing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Anna’s heart stopped as she looked at it. Good as Gone was ingrained in her mind, one of her favorite songs by her favorite band but it was clear why they wanted her to sing this song. It was literally a song about moving on after a relationship. Her singing this song put out a clear message that her relationship with Bobby was over for good and she is ready to move on. Anna felt her heart rate start to increase to a dangerous level as she felt a panic attack coming. She felt it and could do nothing to control it so she chose to sit there staring blankly at the paper trying to control every breath. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You better get going. You are to be ready for soundcheck and a runthrough for your performance by 6:30. Your clothes will be at the dressing room ready for you as well as Reya with your makeup artist. 5:00, Anna I will personally be there to make sure you are on time,” finished Scott gesturing towards the door. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Anna leaped out of her chair, unable to handle any more of this conversation. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And what if I refuse? This is bullshit Scott, complete and utter bullshit,” yelled out Anna, the dam breaking and tears spilling out about to turn into a full blown meltdown. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s quite simple, this is your last chance at redemption. If you want to continue to work with me and my label you will take whatever steps I deem fit to restore your reputation. This and all future steps I take are to make you excel in this career and to fix what’s going on with your reputation in the media. I may be an ass Anna, but I’m making all these decisions to help you. I could drop your ass tomorrow, which I will if you refuse to follow 100% of my orders from here on out, but I haven’t. I’m here attempting one last time to fix this,” said Scott, his voice a lot softer than before which was a shock to Anna. Who are you and what have you done with Scott the leprechaun and mama’s boy? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But what if Bobby…” sobs Anna the tears spilling out in full force. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I need you to stop right there. I’m not your therapist. I have no interest hearing about Bobby, or his feelings, or anything about any of that. I’ve said this before Anna I’m saying it again, if you want a career in this field you have to put it first. Before everything. You may want to take some time to consider whether this career is truly meant for you if you choose to continue down this path of self destruction,” scolded Scott for the second time, his voice a lot more firm this time. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Anna needed to get out of there, her mind was overloaded with everything that was currently being thrown at her. She had no choice though right? If she said no, her career would be over. But was she ready for the small chance that Bobby would see this interview and close any possible future open door there was to being on speaking terms again? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, before you leave I forgot to tell you. Another thing to add on to your list of directions tonight. Harry Styles, who I assume you’ve heard of, will be on the show tonight as well. His reputation has taken a hit in the news currently too. It would be good media coverage for both of you to act a little flirty with each other on air tonight. Which I know for a fact you have no problem doing so it should be a piece of cake for you. If you can sell your flirting tonight, we can move forward with some media coverage on a potential “budding” relationship with some future events,” shrugged Scott nonchalantly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Scott..I...no I can’t. I cannot and will not do that. No,” freaked out Anna her sobs 30 seconds away from turning into a full blown meltdown. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You will, or you walk out of here label-less,” glared Scott crossing his hands across his chest raising his eyebrows in a challenge. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Anna couldn’t take it anymore, she grabbed her stuff and sprinted out of his office. She pulled her heels off and sprinted even faster to the closest restroom. She slammed the door shut, locked it and collapsed on the floor in sobs. Anna’s heart was beating uncontrollably and all control over her body was gone for a split second. She put her face in between her legs, her hands on top of her head letting every feeling she was currently going through out. Every sob, every scream, every frustration. She knows when it got to this point, there was nothing she could do besides roll with it and let it run its course. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her mind was overwhelmed, thoughts about everything running a mile a minute. She gave up everything for her career. Her family, her friends, her hometown, Bobby...everything. Her career had always come first and then Bobby came around and made her question everything. When he came around she didn’t want to put her career first, but like a broken record player she made a decision with her fucked up mind instead of following her heart. What now? He was gone, her family was gone, everything was gone. All she had left was this. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Anna sat there and truly thought about everything that happened in that meeting just now. She grimaced thinking back on her comments to Scott and even the concert. This wasn’t her, any of it. She had the biggest problem with her mouth but now it’s like she's infecting everyone around her with her poisonous state of mind, even people who didn’t deserve it. She hated Scott but he’s the only one out to help her right now, maybe she should just do what he says. Controlling her mouth in the moment was hard but she knows she fucked up when she looks back on her actions and hates what she sees. She doesn’t think she’s ever hated another person more than she hates herself right now. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Anna snapped herself out of her self pity and checked her watch- the clock reading 4:00. Time to go and get her act together. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>***</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Anna could physically feel her skin crawl everytime Harry Styles even looked in her direction. He was clearly playing his part well since he couldn’t keep his hand off hers even for a second. The boy could also clearly not take one single cue, maybe she could pinch him and he’d think twice before touching her without her permission again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She subtly checked her watch and thankfully realized the show was close to ending. She managed to get medication to calm her panic attack down which is how she surprisingly and gracefully made it through this show giving Scott exactly what he wanted to the best of her ability. She’s never been good at faking how she feels which is where these meds kicked in. God Bless Priya. My own personal anxiety medication dealer. She also refused to touch a single drop of alcohol knowing exactly the effect it has on her and the possible repercussions. Alcohol will continue to be her savior and downfall all at the same time. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So Anna, before we close out our fans have been losing sleep over this question, actual sleep. I, myself included. Just last night, I cuddled my teddy bear hoping and praying I’d get to ask you this question,” laughed out Graham in his usual sarcastic tone erupting laughter from the whole audience. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well we can’t have you losing sleep over me, you know beauty sleep is essential to keeping up that appearance,” spouted back Anna fake grinning and internally groaning. Can she leave yet like what the fuck. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You spent 2 months in that villa, we truly are dying to know. What was your most memorable moment that happened that you will never forget? And I already brought up your delightful google translator conversation so maybe your second most memorable moment?” asked Graham again laughing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Anna didn’t even have to think about it, the memory popped in her head almost immediately. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I felt a rush of warmth as I laid my head down on Bobby’s shoulder and heard the sigh of relief come out of his mouth. Pure happiness, peace, and bliss. There has never been a more picture perfect moment in her life. Bobby’s soft and warm hand wrapped over hers making her feel protected and safe. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>It was about 2 AM and everybody, even the villa staff had cleaned up the finale afterparty and left. It was just her and Bobby sitting with their feet dangling in the pool not wanting to leave that spot. Tim, our favorite producer who we constantly got special favors from, said he’d give us an hour before the Jeep driver would leave us stranded here and we’d have to walk to our hotel. We weren’t leaving this spot until 2:59, the absolute last second. We also knew Tim was joking and he loved us way too much to actually leave us here if we went a couple minutes past 3. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I can’t wait Anna,” whispered Bobby softly in my ear, giving me goosebumps all throughout my body. His voice was music to my ears, just so soothing. He could literally whisper anything to me right now and I’d be melting in a puddle on the floor. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“For what?” I whispered back looking deep in his hazel brown eyes feeling myself get lost in them. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He suddenly sat up with the biggest grin on his face like a 8 year old on Christmas morning just bursting with excitement. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“For our life together. I’ve sat through and visualized just about 50 different scenarios about our future and I just...everything about it just makes me so happy and I don’t want to stop saying it to you,” said Bobby, smiling huge looking down at me. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>My heart swelled and I felt tears prickle in my eyes. Damn it Bobby, you’re turning me so soft. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“And I’m just so ridiculously comfortable with you. And in love with you. Like GOD you turn me on SO MUCH. But like I also wanna make you pancakes and take you to meet my family. But then also fuck you in the car before we go because you always look hot as fuck, spicier then sriracha babe,” he continued just unable to stop and unsubtly looking me up and down.  </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Yup that’s all it took for that dam to break. The tears spilled out, but these were purely happy tears. Tears that came from never believing a love like this existed. At that moment, I never felt so at home with someone. So loved. Never gotten the pleasure to be the one able to shower someone else with that same amount of love. It was overwhelming in the best way. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>God, I don’t know what I did to deserve this man but I’m praying you give me the strength to keep him this happy. To keep that smile on his forever. To keep him this giddy and excited about our life forever. To give me the pleasure of loving him forever. It’s been 2 months, and I am so irrevocably in love with this man it hurt. The thought scared me though. What if I manage to fuck this up the way I’ve managed with everything else in my life? </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“So I know you said you didn’t want nicknames the last time 8 times I asked…” he started and I chuckled rolling my eyes. Nicknames made me cringe. If I wanted to be called Sweetie or Cutie or Cupcake, I’d go find a job at a candy store. Plus, she never understood the meaning behind those names. Couple pet names should mean something, if not, they’re just random cringey names that made her want to throw up. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Bobby…” I started ready to interject before he held up his hand. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I thought of the perfect name for you, just hear me out yeah?” grinned Bobby. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Fine, what?” I conceded, unable to say no to that face. He didn’t even need to try. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“So I know you said you hated when I called you boo so I switched it up and decided on...Baby Boo” he said looking at me with a straight face. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>My heart stopped for a second. Baby Boo? Is he joking? </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He must’ve seen my horrified expression cause he burst out laughing. Yeah that had better been a joke. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Priceless...so worth it,” he choked out between laughs.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span> I jokingly glared and crossed my hands. He put his hands up in defense trying really hard to not keep laughing. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Okay fine...how about Babycakes?” Bobby managed to get out in between laughs. I looked down and just chuckled softly. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Bobby...I swear,” I started saying. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Fine...how about Donut?” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’d rather drown in this pool.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Lemon?” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>“Now I’m just convinced you’re coming up with random food items Bobby.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Doodle Bug?” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“BOBBY,” I screamed crying from laughter. He looked mesmerized for a second as his laughing slowed down and watched me doubled over literally crying. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Okay, okay...in all seriousness are you ready for this?” he asked, his eyes suddenly sharp and focused. I raised my eyebrows in amusement as a response expecting another ridiculous name to come out of his mouth. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Anna, I’m not really good at expressing myself and I’m not the best with my words but here it goes. I’ve lived in Glasgow all my life and until you came along I never realized just how gloomy and dark everything in my past seemed to be. You came along and just shined so much light and happiness in my life. You are quite  literally the light of my life, my sunshine and...I have something for you to remind you of that,” said Bobby, his eyes slightly glistening. He took out a long, rectangular box and handed it to me. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I looked at the box and then back at him. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“You proposing or something Bobby,” I joked, suddenly uncomfortable with the intensity of his stare. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He chuckled, “Yeah you wish, I’m too hot for you to handle.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I rolled my eyes and opened up the box. Inside was a gorgeous gold necklace. I held up the pendant and it was in the shape of the sun. He...I....Oh my gosh. Tears started flowing out of my eyes for the 6th time that night. Gah, what an emotional mess. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Open it,” whispered Bobby, gesturing to the sun pendant. I looked down at the sun pendant and  opened the little clasp. Inside of it was a silver circle reading, “You are my sunshine.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I looked back up at Bobby, sobbing at this point and he just grinned pulling me into his embrace. Wrapping his arms around my shoulders and letting me cry it out. I reached up, wrapped my hands around his neck and pulled him close to me in the tightest hug. Every inch of his skin was on mine but it still didn’t feel like enough. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I pulled back, cupped his face in my hands and pulled his lips down to meet mine. The kiss was short, sweet, and gentle, conveying just about everything I wanted it to. Bobby broke the kiss and rested his forehead against mine. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“So..I can’t tell. Do you like it?” asked Bobby, his huge grin painted on his face, not wavering for a second. I rolled my eyes and laughed as I wiped the tears off. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Of course you idiot. The necklace…and I guess the nickname,” I said giving it to him because I knew how badly he wanted this. I would gladly be his sunshine. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I love you...my sunshine,” said Bobby, blushing all jokes now gone. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I expected to grimace and cringe but I didn’t. I liked it. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I love you too babe,” I said right back. And I’m never gonna stop. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“So it’s just the two of us here right now in our last 40 minutes in this Villa, I have an idea,” said Bobby suddenly standing up, eyes full of mischief. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I smiled and stood up with him wrapping my arms around his waist not wanting even an inch of space between us for a second. Yeah I’m clingy but he loves it. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Go on,” I encouraged. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Let’s jump,” grinned Bobby nodding towards the pool. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Hell yes. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“It’s moments like this that really prove to me that we’re truly soulmates,” I said popping off my heels excitedly. If I could live in the pool, I would. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I looked over at Bobby who in a span of 10 seconds already had his suit off and he was standing at the edge of the pool in his...are those cookie monster boxers? Oh lord. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I stripped my gown off and carefully placed it on the grass now standing in my red lace bra and panty set, one of Bobby’s favorites. The look on his face right now was priceless and I had to muffle my laugh. As two people who were constantly competing to be in control sexually and Bobby winning almost 98% of the time, tonight’s my win. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I walked over to Bobby who was continuing to rake his eyes up and down my body, his eyes now dark and lidded. He shook his head to snap out of it and grinned holding out his hand. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Ready?” he asked looking deep into my eyes. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“You jump, I jump Jack,” I said looking into his eyes with a similar amount of intensity. </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>We raised our hands over our heads and took the leap into the water. As the cold water touched my skin, I closed my eyes at the sheer luxury of it. It was perfect. I kicked my legs and swam a little way underwater before breaking the surface. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I looked around for Bobby and saw he was on the opposite side shaking his head back and forth attempting to get all the extra water off of himself. Our eyes met and I immediately felt the air turn hot. I felt myself blush at the way he was just staring, like he was going to pounce on me any second. We did say we were going to wait till we were back at the hotel but I mean. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I bit my lip, attempting to fake blush and look like I was abashed as I swam over to him slowly. His eyes never breaking eye contact the entire time. I wrapped my hands around his neck as I reached him and in one swift movement wrapped my legs around his waist clamping myself on him. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh boy, I can feel his “excitement” already. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Someone’s excited to see me,” I said biting my lips, staring deeply at him. He didn’t say anything, his eyes giving away everything. He was trying so hard to not lose control it was funny. Another idea popped into my head. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I tightened my legs around him and knew that he’d keep us afloat and moved my hands to the back unclasping my bra. Once it was unfastened, I pulled it off and dangled it between us before throwing it off to the side. He groaned immediately, his eyebrows furrowed. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Anna…” he groaned as his eyes immediately dropped downward. I smiled wickedly. He was distracted and now was the perfect chance. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I shoved my hands down and shoved my panties off and lifting them out of the water to make sure he saw me tossing them to the side somewhere near where my bra went. A pained expression covered his face and I smiled smugly. Yeah this was my win. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yes?” I asked, looking at him innocently. His fingers bit into my back as his eyes landed on mine. He growled, crashing his lips to mine. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>My entire body immediately felt alive as the passion took over. I pulled back quickly though, breaking the kiss. He glanced at me with a confused yet loving look and my entire body seemed to tingle. I wasn’t just crazy about him; I was totally, utterly, and devastatingly in love with him. This was new, I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, never loved someone this way. It was like he was my everything, my sun, my air, my whole life rolled up into one package. Time seemed to stand still and it felt as if my whole life had been building up to this moment here with him; as if my sole purpose for being here was to love this boy. For the rest of my life. He completed every part of me. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“You okay?” he asked, looking a little concerned, his fingers rubbing against my cheeks in that adorable protective way he always did to make sure I was okay. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I nodded unable to formulate words, I was gone. I didn’t want to talk right now. I pulled his mouth to mine. He kissed me back so softly that it made me want to cry. It was such a beautiful moment. His touch was soft and gentle as his hands wandered down my body pulling me closer to him, not that it was possible. My hands twisted into his wet hair as I kissed him even deeper with everything that I had inside me, showing him that I loved him without actually saying the words. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>My stomach fluttered as I clamped myself to him, revelling in the feeling of his skin against mine. I needed him. I needed more than this kiss. I needed to be completely at one with him, consumed by him, and possessed by him. My whole body ached with a desperate longing that I’d never felt for anyone else. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I broke the kiss and put my forehead to his. “Make love to me, Bobby,” I begged. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>His lips parted as he looked at me curiously for a few seconds before pressing his lips to mine softly again for a split second. He looked disappointed. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I can’t. I don’t have any condoms,” he whispered. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I sighed and tightened my grip on him. I could honestly not care less right now. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I don’t care Bobby, just make love to me please?” I said looking straight into his beautiful hazel brown eyes that made my insides flip each time. I could look into them forever. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>A smile twitched at the corners of his mouth before he kissed me again, nibbling on my bottom lip gently. I wriggled my hips, trying to get impossibly closer to him. My love for him overwhelmed me as I whimpered into his mouth praying that this moment would last forever. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>His grip on my hips tightened, moving me a fraction so that our bodies lined up. When I felt pressure at my entrance, I kissed him desperately as he pulled me down gently; entering me so slowly that it was almost maddening. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I moaned at the sheer ecstasy of having him inside me again for the 50th time that summer. Somehow this moment just felt different. His breath blew across my lips as I pressed my forehead to his and looked into his eyes as he built up a slow and steady rhythm, forcing my pleasure higher and higher with each gentle thrust of his hops. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>While we made love, I savoured every second of it, committing every detail to memory. It was beautiful. Everything about it was perfect, from the place, to the warm water that covered our bodies, to the way his hands and mouth seemed to worship my body as he made love to me. Every move was so sweet and tender that it made my heart throb in my chest. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He pushed me up against one of the wooden stilts and continued his beautiful, yet torturous assault. A smile resided on his lips the whole time, his whole face beamed with happiness. The pleasure he was giving me was building to impossible heights. I closed my eyes, tipping my head back, losing myself in the moment and the sensations. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Look at me,” he said breathlessly yet so firmly. I forced my eyes open, looking back at his angelic face as he smiled and put his forehead against mine. His eyes locked on mine as he continued to take my body and soul to heaven. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“That’s better,” he whispered, kissing me softly. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I moaned into his mouth so loudly that it was almost embarrassing, but I was unable to contain it. My heartbeat was pounding in my ears as was the whoosh of my own blood that was pumping through my veins. Suddenly, it hit me, an orgasm so powerful that made me bite down onto his lip roughly as my whole body shook and convulsed. His fingers dug into my thighs as his mouth claimed mine in a kiss that felt like he was trying to devour my very soul. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>His body tensed too, and he pulled out of me, moaning into my mouth as he found his release too. I gasped, and my eyes fluttered closed again as my head tipped back lifelessly against the hard, wooden post he was pinning me against. A tired smile twitched at the corner of my mouth as I looked back at him, seeing that his eyes were shining with passion as he brushed my wet hair back gently. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I love you sunshine,” he said softly, kissing me. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I love you too,” I said, smiling brightly back. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Anna felt the tears build up and had to try everything possible to will them away. She couldn’t cry on live television she couldn’t. She panicked and grabbed Harry’s hand, squeezing it so tight he looked over at her in alarm and concern. He gave it a gentle, yet encouraging squeeze. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She mumbled something about prom and the speeches and finding lifelong friends. She couldn’t even remember the words that just rambled out if she was honest. She was following a script this entire time. This was simply just part of the job and right now, she had no option but to just play along. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>There's too much going on in the world right now, hope ya'll are taking care of yourself and your mental health. Next chapter will be out soon, Anna's issues are just getting started :(</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Who have I become?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Anna gets some tough love and our poor Bobby...well you'll see :(<br/>Enjoy this last drama free chapter cause things are turning all the way up soon for our girl.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>💖Special shout out to Kat for the daily accountability messages, tough love, and overall just being a huge cheerleader. I don't know what I'd do without you. Ily more then words can express.</p><p>💖Special shout out to Becky for cheering this story on, being so supportive and for giving me the idea of Jesse and ASIB and for being super amazing as always. Ily.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>
  <em> I’m so sick of love songs, sick of the pain </em>
</p><p>
  <em> It’s already over, there’s nothing to say </em>
</p><p>
  <em> You were my pleasure, you were the blood in my veins.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Gave you my all, and I took an L</em>
</p><p>
  <em> Seein’ you with him is bad for my health </em>
</p><p>
  <em> ~Zack Knight </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Anna POV</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Anna closed the door to her dressing room and slumped to the ground, finally letting out a huge sigh of relief. It felt like she had been holding her breath throughout the entire duration of the interview and now was when she could finally be herself and relax. She had done what she was told to do but the self doubt on whether it was enough or not was overwhelming her mind. Was she believable? Did her fake smile fool the audience? Did Bobby watch this? Oh god, what if he did watch it? Does he hate her? Fuck, he already hates her. What word comes after hate? The thoughts just spiralled till things started to stop making sense. </p><p>When things got to be too much, the only thing she could think to turn to was alcohol. She held back for the interview because she knew it led to actions she’d not be able to control but what was holding her back now? Anna whipped her head around to see a bottle of Jack Daniels sitting on the counter and she stood up so quick she felt her head spin and she crashed onto the floor again. </p><p>“For fucks sake,” she yelled out to the empty room before holding on to the wall and standing up, slower this time. Had she eaten today? Anna shook her head remembering her eating absolutely nothing, the consistent anxiety hitting her all day taking away her appetite which to be fair, happened quite often. The lack of food and now that she thought about it, water, was getting to her and her treadmill sprinting this morning didn’t do her any favors. Anna popped off her heels and threw them both across the room proceeding to then glare at them for no reason. </p><p>She was always angry. Was this normal? Is this how the rest of her life was going to go? She had been desperately looking for some kind of light to guide her to sanity but everywhere she looked, she saw closed doors and darkness. There was no light. How long before she gets herself checked into a psych ward? She let out a heavy sigh, rubbing her temples in a circle keeping her eyes shut willing her mind to shut off if only for a second. </p><p>A loud rapid knocking forced Anna to open her eyes and turn her glare towards the door, magically wishing for it to explode. Scott barged in without waiting for Anna to yell out a loud “Go Away.” </p><p>“ANNA darling,” he squealed, speed walking over to her, grabbing her face into his hands as he kissed both her cheeks. Anna roughly pushed him off, a grimace on her face, wiping away the wetness she felt on her cheeks. She despised when people attempted to touch her without permission, most of all this jerk. She hated that he was so happy and that she had something to do with it. </p><p>Scott barely even registered Anna’s scowl as he rambled on and on at how well her acting on stage was.  All she wanted to hear was one comment about her singing, one small sign of approval towards her music. She leaned against the wall tuning out most of his squealing and just waited, listening for any reassurance that he was happy with her musical piece. That’s why he signed her isn’t it?</p><p>“You and Harry are going to be front cover news tomorrow and before you know it you two are going to end up as the UK's hottest couple,” he rambled on and on. </p><p>He continued to go on about publicity plans and all the planned events they’ll be attending. Anna continued to tune him out, not caring one single bit. Self doubt creeped into her mind as it usually did. She wasn’t an actor, she was a singer. She didn’t care if she was good at acting, she didn’t care about the media and her reputation or any of it. She wanted some validation that her giving up everything, her giving up everyone, her giving up her life for her music career was worth it. </p><p>Not one single word was uttered. She watched as Scott walked towards the door, disappointment surging through her. </p><p>“Fans are lined up outside, you are expected to sign some autographs and take a picture or two with them. Make sure you’re sober, smiling, and polite Anna, I’m serious,” said Scott warily eyeing the alcohol bottle he saw in the corner of the room. </p><p>“Of course your highness, anything else?” spat out Anna sarcastically giving her bitchiest smile. </p><p>Scott rolled his eyes, not caring one bit about the attitude before walking out, the ridiculous ringtone blasting loud as he left. He got what he wanted, she could be as bitchy as she wanted. Anna walked over to her heels, picked them up and threw them again, this time at the closed door with whatever strength she could muster before holding up a middle finger as a big fuck you. </p><p>Anna picked up the bottle of whiskey and stuffed it into her bag, opening the door and stomping out. Her belongings in one hand, heels in the other not wanting to put them on. She walked down the hall towards a sign she passed earlier that signalled towards the top floor which was the roof. She had gotten some secret intel about access to the roof and that fresh air, away from everyone was what she needed. Priya had ended up not joining her because Scott refused to let her in. He called it a “closed set” or whatever nonsense he was on about. She knew she’d probably get in trouble for not heading out to meet the fans right away but if she was going to have to endure the fans and the possible ridiculousness they shouted out at her sometimes she needed alcohol in her system and a clear head. </p><p>Anna made it to the third floor and saw she had 2 more flights of stairs to climb and mentally groaned. This roof better be worth it. Anna’s drinking had reached a new level the past two months. With her surviving on strictly liquor, 2 hours of sleep, and almost zero food/water she’s surprised she’s still here standing upright. She's also surprised somebody hasn’t killed her yet with the attitude she’s been giving everyone.</p><p>After what felt like years of climbing, she finally reached the top floor. Anna yanked on the big gray door that said, “No Access,” and smiled at the unlocked door. Some people really do follow through when they say they’ll do something. </p><p>Anna walked through the doors and stood by the roof entrance door, propping it open with a rock she found so she wouldn’t get locked up here. She looked around the little rooftop. It was pretty bare, except for the concrete wall that lined the perimeter of the roof. Anna walked over to one of the walls and boosted herself up to sit. Normally heights scared her, and if anything was to scare her right now is that if she made one tiny wrong move, she’d fall to a very grisly death. Fear didn’t run through her body though; she didn’t care. She was numb all over and felt nothing. Anna took a second to gaze out at the view which was simply breathtaking. </p><p>Her mind was calm for what felt like the first time in forever. She let out a few deep breaths just enjoying the peacefulness. She didn’t have to worry about anything up here. Not the fans, not Scott, not her career, not Harry, nothing. The last time she felt this level of content was in Bobby’s arms. He was the only one who managed to bring out a different side to her. Before she knew it, thoughts of Bobby invaded her mind. The way he held her, kissed her senseless, supported her, took away every last trouble she had, managed to be the only person in her life that calmed her anger, the way he was so patient with her, the way he made her laugh, the way he treated her like she was the only thing he saw and wanted to see on Earth...simply everything clouded her mind. </p><p>Well what did she do? She threw it away like old gum and for what? A career she wasn’t happy in. Did people even like her music? Was she even any good? Is the drama she always ends up finding herself in the only reason the tabloids are interested in her? The only reason Scott gave her one last chance? Was the only reason that Bobby sang praises about her music because he was frightened to tell her how he really felt? </p><p>Maybe she should give up her singing and find a telenovela audition since acting and being overly dramatic was apparently her strong suit. </p><p>The wind hit her in the face; and it was a small reminder to breathe and stop thinking so hard. </p><p>“Alright?” a voice behind her made Anna slightly jump before remembering where she was sitting. Although the thought of plummeting to her death may not bother her, it actually happening and her falling may bother her a little more than she thought. </p><p>Anna whipped her head around to glare at the person who dared to invade her space before seeing Harry standing there with wide eyes. </p><p>“Sorry Anna, I shouldn’t have snuck up on you like that,” he said smiling a little sheepishly. </p><p>Anna narrowed her eyes, “Yeah you shouldn’t have.” </p><p>She turned back around to the view before grumbling, “Following me around are we?”</p><p>“Don’t flatter yourself, I come up here every time after a Graham interview to clear my head and enjoy the view,” smirked Harry leaning against the wall staring at her sitting up on the ledge warily as if she was about to jump off or something. </p><p>Anna smiled a little before turning around and hopping off the ledge back onto the concrete floor. She picked up her bag, pulling out the bottle of whiskey and hesitated for a brief second before holding it out to Harry with raised eyebrows. He smiled, taking the bottle from her and popping the lid off before taking a big gulp drinking it like it was grape juice. </p><p>A  man who can handle his whiskey the way she could? Impressive. </p><p>Anna remembered the time Bobby had attempted to drink a shot of whiskey with her. It ended with him spraying the liquor all over her face. She chuckled slightly remembering his horrified expression which had made her laugh so hard she had fallen off the couch. She remembers Bobby running around trying to find a towel for her meanwhile she was on the floor crying from laughing.</p><p>“What’s so funny?” asked Harry, raising his eyebrows in confusion. </p><p>Anna shook her head, if she went down memory lane right now she’d be an emotional mess.</p><p>“Sorry, I’m not in a conversing kind of mood,” said Anna softly turning to Harry, giving him an apologetic look. She just wanted to drink a few shots of her whiskey and sit in silence before going and throwing herself into a crowd of people yelling and shouting at her. </p><p>“I’m well versed and speak the language of silence fluently,” breathed out Harry who seemed to want the same thing. </p><p>They didn’t need to speak to know what was going on in both of their heads. Both having to play a role they didn’t want to appease their management and both not having a choice because of their reputation in the media. </p><p>Harry handed her the bottle of whiskey and Anna downed and swallowed a quarter of the bottle, willing away the memories of Bobby that attempted to sneak up on her. Surprisingly it worked, she was able to turn her brain off if only a brief second. </p><p>They stayed that way for 15 minutes, both enjoying each other’s company and the calmness before Harry broke the silence. </p><p>“You really love him don’t you?” whispered Harry looking over at Anna. </p><p>“More than words could describe,” Anna whispered back, putting the bottle up on the ledge before turning back around to play with her fingers. </p><p>“Then what are you doing here standing up on the roof with me, go get him. Things don’t always have to be so complicated Anna,” commented Harry searching her face for answers she knew she didn’t have. </p><p>“You don’t know the first thing about me and Bobby and why we broke up. I hurt him, broke his heart, and threw our relationship away while all he did was fight until I took that choice from him. He hates me, doesn’t want me back and I’d say I deserve it,” snapped Anna feeling herself get angry. </p><p>There goes her peace. Maybe she doesn’t deserve any. </p><p>Harry shook his head, a frown on his face. </p><p>“No Anna, it’s not complicated. I don’t know the details of your breakup, I don’t know what happened and I don’t need to. But let me ask you one thing...have YOU ever fought for your relationship?” countered Harry. </p><p>Anna didn’t know what to say. </p><p>“I...I mean...I apologized? He didn’t want to hear it. I...don’t know...I thought I’d give him his space,” stuttered out Anna not finding the words to express herself. </p><p>The answer to that question screamed through her brain. </p><p>“Look, I don’t want to attack you or anything but maybe you should stop walking around feeling sorry and angry at yourself for what you did and maybe attempt to repair what you did? Fight for him? You can’t just give up on someone because the situation isn’t ideal. Great relationships aren’t great because they have no problems. They’re great because both people care enough to make it work. From the sounds of it...Bobby tried. Now it’s your turn,” shrugged Harry taking another gulp of whiskey. </p><p>“I’d rather just let things run their course, I’m giving him space and if things are meant to be we’ll find our way back to each other. You don’t know me, my life, my relationship, Bobby, nothing so just stop with the preaching,” growled Anna getting defensive which is what always happens when she hears things she knows are true and doesn’t want to admit to herself.</p><p>“That “If you love something you set it free” thing is complete and utter bullshit. If you love someone, you should fight for how you feel and what you really want. You can’t just sit back and let things go then expect that maybe it will all come back again simply because it's “meant to be.” You aren’t meant to have something that you didn’t fight for. In this case it’s Bobby’s forgiveness and your relationship. If you’re not willing to put in the work and fight, maybe you don’t deserve it.” </p><p>Harry gave a small sympathetic smile before squeezing her shoulder and walking away leaving her to her thoughts. </p><p>A lot of emotions ran through her brain and one question screamed out at her. </p><p>
  <b> <em>What if he’s right?</em> </b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Bobby POV</em> </strong>
</p><p>Bobby cracked his eyes open as he heard the alarm clock go off. He groaned, grabbing his pillow and throwing it over his head pressing down hard in failed attempts to tune out the loud beeping that wouldn’t stop. Dried tear marks covered his cheeks as the crying himself to sleep had become quite a regular occurrence for him. </p><p>The beeping continued, a reminder that brought him back to reality each morning. He groaned loudly before tossing the pillow aside and sitting up, a sharp pain running through his body from his head to his toes. The memories from the previous night suddenly hitting him like a train. Anna...Harry Styles...the show...all of it hitting him once again and the constant beeping of his alarm clock not helping his sleep deprived headache. Bobby picked up the clock and chucked it at the wall opposite his bed and watched as it smashed into tiny pieces with a tiny satisfied smile on his face. </p><p>Bobby sat up and leaned against the headboard playing with his fingers not finding any motivation to get up and start his day. It’s like his mind and body wouldn’t let him out of that bed even if he wanted to. He had run out of his sleeping pills 2 days ago and couldn’t even get himself to go to the pharmacy to pick up anymore so it had been two excruciatingly long and sleepless nights. His head was pounding and his hands travelled to his bedside table in search of some painkillers. He turned his head slowly towards the nightstand finding the pill bottle and in his attempts to pick them up, they fell right to the floor. </p><p>“Oh fuck me,” he groaned out loud before immediately freezing. An unwanted memory ready to pop into his head no matter how hard he wished it away. </p><p>
  <em> Bobby woke up to a mouthful of black curls in his mouth and a distinct jasmine scent that hit him right in the feels. A smile immediately formed on his face before he remembered the hair that took over his mouth which resulted in a fit of coughing. Bobby immediately jumped up in bed resulting in Anna jolting awake after being shoved roughly aside.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Bobby what the fuck,” yelled out Anna with a frown sitting up rubbing her temples from the pounding in her head. Memories of last night coming to her in small episodes. All she remembers is tequila, loud music, and sex with Bobby.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “It’s not my fault you have an untamed lion’s mane on your head,” countered Bobby with a tight lipped smile trying not to laugh. Riling up hungover Anna was #3 on his list of favorite things. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I didn’t hear you complaining when you were aggressively pulling at it last night whilst yelling my name over and over again,” snapped Anna, suddenly slightly self conscious and running her fingers through her hair attempting to straighten it out.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Anna felt two hands grab her hands pulling them back down as Bobby tightly held them down in her lap. His eyes gazing deeply into Anna’s in a silent conversation telling her to stop being an idiot. Anna felt moments of self doubt constantly but Bobby, no matter how many times in a 10 minute period she needed reassurance, happily and calmly gave her what she needed. No words needed to be spoken there, yet Anna got his message loud and clear sighing lightly and returning his smile.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I didn’t hear you complaining either Sunshine,” whispered Bobby into her ear before grinning smugly, last night’s activities fully coming back to her.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Someone’s clearly full of themselves,”muttered Anna rubbing her forehead again.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You weren’t complaining about being full of me last night either,” smirked Bobby, enjoying the blush starting to form on her cheeks.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Anna huffed unable to find something to counter back so she pulled her arms out Bobby’s grasp pretending to be annoyed. She could hear Bobby’s chuckle and she shook her head slightly and turned to the drawer next to her to search for some Advil. Her hands rummaged through the drawer finally feeling the bottle and she pulled it out, sitting up completely and started attempting to open the bottle. Whether she was too hungover or still half asleep or whatever it was, she was having a lot of trouble opening it. Bobby sat up against the headboard, arms crossed watching her pulling and groaning at the lid and couldn’t help but laugh out loud earning a glare from Anna.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Need some help?” asked Bobby, still laughing.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Not from you,” she groaned, getting frustrated at the tiny bottle in her hands and yanking so hard, the cap went flying along with 95% of the pills inside. The entire bed and floor were covered in tiny blue capsules.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Anna just sat there in shock while Bobby laughing so hard flopped off the bed to the floor, a loud thud making Anna’s head hurt more.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “OH fuck me,” she yelled out throwing the bottle to the side in frustration her head in her hands. Bobby managed to get up off the floor and smirked loudly in Anna’s direction.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “That was not an invitation,” muttered Anna, picking her head up and looking at Bobby with her eyes giving a silent warning.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Bobby just smirked even bigger climbing back up on the bed dragging his body even closer to Anna trying not to laugh.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I mean it Bobby, leave me alone,”rasped Anna, the words flying out of her mouth but were unbelievable even to her.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Bobby brought his face even closer until it was just shy of touching Anna’s face humming softly and giving a huge sexy smile and waggling his eyebrows. Anna felt her face heat up and she could tell her pale face resembled a whole tomato at that moment. Bobby put his hand under her chin pulling it up until her eyes met his before he leaned over pressing his lips to her ear.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I think we should get Chinese food for dinner tonight,” whispered Bobby sexily before pulling away grinning wide.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He moves back and resumes his position of leaning against the headboard waiting for her to loudly yell his name in mock frustration. It’s like Christmas morning whenever he hears it. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Oh for the love of-,” grumbled Anna sitting up and grabbing her pillow sitting up facing Bobby on her knees before smacking him over and over with the pillow.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Bobby’s loud squeal echoed throughout the apartment before finally grabbing the pillow and tossing it to the floor. He raised his eyebrows in competition as if saying what are you gonna do now? Anna was quick and managed to grab not only Bobby’s pillow but the extra one sitting to the side of the bed and this time stood up on the bed and resumed her attack. Bobby’s loud laughs were like music to her ears.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Okay okay sunshine please stop, I concede I’m sorry,” Bobby managed to yell out between the loud laughs and pillow hits, putting his hands up in protest.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Anna dropped the pillows at her side giving Bobby a hesitant look debating whether he earned forgiveness yet or not. It gave Bobby a chance to counter back and he grabbed her across the stomach pulling her roughly and dropping her on her back pillows out of reach. His hands grabbed hers and held them up over her head.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Truce?” whispered Bobby smiling.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Anna felt a rush of warmth run through her body. The overwhelming feeling of love overtaking her body as she gazed into the eyes of her hazel eyed boyfriend. No one has ever made her feel this level of emotion before, the overwhelming level of feelings taking over dropping her at his mercy. She would die for this man. The thoughts truly scare her but in a good way. This was a good thing, her one thing in life she got right.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Truce,” whispered Anna smiling softly back.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Bobby leaned down and kissed her forehead, then her cheek until he reached her lips and pressed his lips onto hers softly at first, before deepening it. Bobby’s kisses were like morphine to her body. Anna sighed in relief and felt calm, too calm but also enraptured with him and his lips. Anna moved her fingers to the back of his neck and felt the gentle pressure of his tongue. Bobby’s arms were still holding hers tightly above her head, pressing them down to the bed even deeper. Anna didn’t fight for control this time, enjoying the feeling of Bobby taking over.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Bobby pulled back, their lips barely apart. They shared breaths as they both panted and fought to get a grip. Bobby released his grip on Anna’s and pulled them both up. He pulled Anna close, hugging her to him. He pressed his face into her neck, inhaling deeply his nose grazing her neck.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You smell so good,” he muttered, nestling closer.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Anna could feel her heart riot in her chest. She just smiled and got as close to Bobby as possible. They stayed like that for what felt like eternity before Anna’s stomach rumbled loud signalling the need for food. Anna could feel Bobby chuckling.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Food?” asked Bobby, pulling back to look into Anna’s eyes.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Anna yawned, pulling out of Bobby’s grasp stretching her arms out almost knocking Bobby out.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You’re an angel,” smiled Anna slowly getting up off the bed to clean up the pills she dropped everywhere.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Bobby stood up throwing a loving glance in Anna’s direction before walking out to the kitchen to whip up some Huevo Rancheros- Anna’s favorite hangover breakfast. He heard Anna’s soft footsteps follow him into the kitchen. Anna wrapped her arms around Bobby’s waist from behind while he was rummaging through the fridge. She was constantly needy when it came to affection, luckily for her Bobby adored her constant physical need for affection.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Bobby while searching for ingredients pulled out a few bags and cartons of food flipping them over. Organic vegetables of different kinds. Organic eggs. Organic milk. Organic...chicken nuggets? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Sunshine, what is this,” asked Bobby, turning to face Anna.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Anna let go and looked at the food in his hands.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Organic food?” shrugged Anna.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “...What’s that mean?” asked Bobby, looking over the food again.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “It’s better for you,” said Anna, taking the food out of his hands and putting them back in the fridge.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> She saw Bobby pull a face and she chuckled.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Does it come in cupcake form?” groaned out Bobby.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Hey, you’ll thank me when you’re 60 years old and still have the body and physique of a 30 year old, not to mention being well alive” giggled Anna, finding Bobby’s facial expression too funny.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Bobby shook his head grinning, her concern over his eating habits and health too adorable.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Want me to live forever don’t you?” asked Bobby grinning smugly.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You won’t live past today if I don’t get some food mister,” said Anna poking Bobby’s chest, both of them falling into a fit of laughter; peace and content flowing through both of their bodies.  </em>
</p><p>Bobby pushed back the tears that were forming in his eyes, that particular memory hitting him a little too hard. His Apple Watch beeped loudly signalling his second alarm, knowing himself and his hate/hate relationship with his normal alarm clock, he was glad he went back and set that second alarm. </p><p>“Fuck,” yelled Bobby sitting up realizing he’s going to be late if he doesn’t get up. </p><p>He’s skipped going to the bakery the past couple days but he couldn’t expect his staff to run that kitchen all by themselves for much longer. It was just unfair to put that level of responsibility on them. </p><p>Bobby got to his feet walking over to the closet to pull on the first pair of clean clothes he could find. It’s been a while since he’s mustered up any level of energy to do laundry, make his bed, clean the apartment, etc. It was like there was a black rain cloud constantly following him around. His thoughts were always dark nowadays and he could barely get himself out of bed, let alone clean up after himself. He’s pretty sure he would’ve left the kitchen and living room a mess last night if it wasn’t for his mates being there to help him. </p><p>His eyes glanced towards a white round coffee cup sitting on the nightstand. A red lipstick stain covered one of the corners. It’s been sitting there for the past 2 months, the only reminder that Anna once lived there and was part of his life. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to permanently dispose of it but after last night, the decision couldn’t be more crystal clear. He wanted all traces of her gone. Bobby stormed over to the coffee cup, picked it up and threw it the same wall he had thrown his alarm clock at. He watched, expressionless, as the pieces of the white cup flew everywhere and finally covered the ground like snow on a Winter morning.</p><p>How’s this for moving on Anna? </p><p>He felt nothing as he continued to stare at the pieces on the floor; it was like he was a zombie walking around with zero emotions. A fit of anger hitting him at random times, but other than that he just felt numb. </p><p>The thought of Anna with Harry continuing to creep its way back in his brain like his own personal Hell. These constant memories, thoughts, reminders, everything felt like he was being punished. How is he supposed to move on from this? He can’t even look at a coffee cup without it reminding him of Anna. He can’t even say specific words without a memory popping into his brain. He can’t do anything. Anna was a part of him. Everywhere he looked, everything he said, everything he does...she’s right there. She was his other half; the missing part of him, like a puzzle piece that fit in their little puzzle of life perfectly. Without her, he was incomplete. </p><p>Bobby looked down at his outfit, pulled up the shirt he threw on to smell it, shrugged and walked out of the room to the bathroom to freshen up. He really couldn’t care less how he looked or smelled or anything at that moment. The fact that he managed to be up and dressed was a victory in itself. </p><p>Bobby went into the kitchen to grab himself a bottle of water feeling a sense of relief at the sight of the clean kitchen. The cleanest it had been in a while. Maybe he should put a little more effort into cleaning the apartment and himself. How long was he going to be able to keep going on this way? </p><p>Bobby grabbed his jacket and belongings, popping his earbuds into his ears before heading towards the front door. Bobby opened the door and his eyes fell on a brown package sitting on his Welcome mat. The corners of his lips turned up slightly knowing who it was from. </p><p>Johno has been in the States for 3 months now, helping his sister out with her new baby. Bobby, with the assistance of the rest of their tiny friend circle, managed to convince him to not get on the first flight back here. His sister needed him, and Bobby was beyond anyone’s help right now. It was probably best for them all to keep their distance from him, he refused to drag others down with him. </p><p>It didn’t stop Johno from sending him a care package each week full of random stuff. His apartment was littered with unopened trinkets, snacks, etc. but the thought was what counted. Bobby couldn’t wait to have his mate back. Johno was more like a brother to Bobby then anyone he could think of. </p><p>Bobby picked up the package and dropped it next to the door before closing the door behind him not caring enough to lock the door. Nothing in that apartment mattered to him anymore, if somebody wanted to rob him they had his full permission. </p><p>Bobby opened up his phone and put a random playlist on shuffle. A love song popped up and made Bobby grimace. Love? Who needs love? At this point he wasn’t even sure if it was a thing he would ever feel or want to feel for another human being anymore. Bobby walked slowly to the bus stop around the corner walking behind a sickeningly in love couple. He watched as the man whispered something in the woman’s ear making her giggle. He saw the way she leaned her head on his shoulder as they walked hand in hand. Bobby felt his hands form into a tiny ball, cringing at the sight speed walking around them. He found a medium sized gray rock on the ground and started kicking it, resuming his slower pace trying not to think of love and relationships and the annoying couple behind him.</p><p>She’ll probably dump him in a month anyway, out of the blue, choosing to pursue her career and drop him like he’s nothing. It’ll start slowly. She’ll stand him up on dates he worked so hard to prepare for them and come up with excuses on top of excuses. She’ll start to leave their home early each morning and come home late each night to avoid any confrontation. She’ll leave the apartment a mess claiming she’s too busy to clean up after herself and leave him to manage their whole home. She’ll leave all his calls/texts unanswered until SHE finally has enough, blows up in his face, and leaves. The man will then be left wondering where he went wrong until finally she ends up on national TV cuddling some cringey boy band singer giving tiny little hints that he’s pathetic and needs to move on like she has. </p><p>Bobby felt a spike of anger and started kicking the rock a little harder until finally he kicked it a little too hard and hit a store window. Bobby glanced frantically and ran over to the store. Luckily for him, it didn’t break or scratch the window. Bobby breathed a sigh of relief, before resuming his walk turning up the volume on the song playing to drown out the giggling he continued to hear behind him.</p><p>Another love song? </p><p>Was the universe playing some sick cosmic joke on him this morning? </p><p>Bobby reached the bus stop just as he saw the bus pulling up. He glanced behind him to see that same annoying couple behind him waiting for the bus as well. They were both smiling and staring at each other and all it did was make Bobby roll his eyes. </p><p>Gross. </p><p>The bus pulled up and as Bobby stepped on he saw how packed it was. On the right there were two seats empty next to each other. To the left there was only one seat open. His cynical and bitter mind wandered to the couple behind him and in an act of pettiness he chose to take the two empty seats. </p><p>Settling into the seat, he thought it would make him happy that he managed to separate that happy couple if only for a second but he was wrong. He watched as he saw the man wave his hand to the seat prompting the woman to sit. The man held on to the pole next to the seat and saw the woman lean her head onto his stomach still smiling, still holding hands, still just as in love as before. </p><p>Bobby felt sadness and guilt punch him in the stomach. What kind of monster was he turning into? The thought scared him. He didn’t want to turn into this person...but how was he going to stop?</p><p>
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